As the sharp pain in her vagina became a dull ache, as the bruises slowly faded on her breasts, she stared at herself in the mirror and whispered to herself, in the little-girl voice, not What am I doing? But what she had said in the Press interview: I am doing this for all women.

She thought of Terence Blue and the way he had kissed her.

11

Viola woke suddenly at about 4.30 am. She thought she heard rain. But it was only the Thames, stirring for a moment in the darkness, and Viola threw her duvet aside, too excited to go back to sleep. Then drifted off again, lying on her back and snoring slightly, dreaming of Fame.

The Sunday of the garden party at the Bonhams’ house dawned sunny, just a little crispness in the air at first to show it was September in England. From early morning, small boats and long boats chugged along the Thames at the bottom of the garden, people looked up as they passed, at the tables and the glasses laid out on the lawn. Viola waved to a small boy who was trying to get her attention by leaning over the side of a canal boat calling out ‘bugger bugger’.

The Bonhams had hired the Chinese boyfriend of an actor who had Aids to make the food, to show that they were not ignorant or prejudiced about a subject that was so rife in their profession; he’d spent all yesterday in their kitchen preparing. When Anthony had arrived back from Stratford-upon-Avon at 2 am, having driven home after a few drinks with a young actress understudy who lived in Hammersmith who had kissed him rather lingeringly as she got out of the car, he had found the young Chinese man, Ho, still in the kitchen preparing duck. Pauline was sitting at the kitchen table smoking, a thing she seldom did now, and drinking Cinzano which seemed to Anthony a strange drink for the early hours. He had poured himself a large whisky and Ho had finally left at 3 am. Anthony had pulled Pauline on to him the minute they had collapsed into bed. He pushed his finger into her anus as he thrust himself up into her, stroked her clitoris with rapid precision as she strained back. And he briefly contemplated (as she moaned very quietly just after he came) how good it was, after all, to be married to someone whose body you knew so well.

*

‘I’m so glad it’s sunny,’ crowed Viola. ‘See Mum, it was all right to wait, it’s a lovely lovely day, did you see that little boy shouting BUGGER at me, little bugger, his parents were cracking champagne at the front of the boat. He’ll grow up to be an actor, I bet you a thousand pounds.’ Viola had, some years ago, decided that anyone she saw behaving badly would grow up to be an actor, like her father.