“What did you have in mind?” I ask, leaning over the bar.

His eyes light up.

“There’s a coffee shop down the street that’s open late.”

That sounds perfect.

I go to the bathroom and reapply some lipstick.

A few minutes later, he meets me by the front door.

The night is warm but not balmy. I haven’t been out much at night here but I enjoy the way the edge seems to be off from the burning sun of the day.

On our way to the coffee shop, he takes my hand in his. I’m taken aback at first, but then I let our fingers intertwine.

We slow down our pace and then something catches my eye in the store front of an antique shop.

It’s a statue of a sheep made from bronze and covered in sheep fur.

The only bronze that’s visible is on the face and the feet and I stand here staring at it for a long time.

“That’s really cool,” he whispers into my ear, breaking the spell.

I look up at him and nod.

Tilting his head forward, he puts his mouth on mine and I pull him closer.

We stand here kissing for a long time.

We pass on the coffee shop and instead go to his place. I follow him in my car. On the way over, I try to talk myself out of it but it doesn’t work.

I want him. He wants me.

I can’t have Nicholas.

We’re kissing again before we clear the doorstep. His hands are down my back and mine are in his hair.

His lips are soft yet strong.

I realize that he doesn’t know my name and I don’t know his.

I consider pulling away and asking but we’re already in the bedroom and I don’t care.

With the lights out, surrounded completely by darkness, it’s easier to pretend that he’s Nicholas.

His kisses become urgent.

Our clothes seem to take off themselves.

When we’re naked, his body warms me up and mine cools him down.

He kisses me everywhere and I do the same.

He isn’t in a rush to get it done, and I appreciate it.

I haven’t been touched like this in a very long time and I want it to last as long as possible.

We change positions once and then again and again.

I feel like we’re dancing.

Our mouths are comfortable with each other now.

I start to unwind. I was relaxed before but not like this.

“Are you okay?” he whispers into my ear. I nod.

“More than okay. Keep doing that.”

He does. Our bodies move as one and suddenly I lose all control.

20

Nicholas

When I have to make decisions…

I wake up a few unrestful hours later with Mallory still in my bed.