In that moment, I ought to be feeling a thousand things. Horror. Fear. Sadness. I reach for it and all I can find is the numb sort of weariness I felt when I watched Jessica jump off the bridge. Because that's what Casper wants. When she's ready, she wants us to take her to the Woodshire Bridge.

She wants us to take her to die.

"That's not fair," Adam murmurs in a wobbly voice. "You're asking us to help—you want us to...watch you die?"

Casper's expression doesn't change. "I'm asking you to help me go the way I want to go. I'm asking you to help, if I can't do it myself, because the last thing I want is to spend my last days like a lump in a bed, unable to do anything, needing help to eat or shower or take a shit. I want to go out with some dignity."

Adam's jaw clenches. "When your parents go down to the morgue to identify your body, what's going to be dignified about that?"

Half a second is the calm before the storm. Half a second, and I'm leaning back, away from them, because Casper explodes and lurches to her feet, knocking over her soda, arms spread wide.

"You have no right to be judgmental!" she shrieks. "You. Have. No. Right. How did we even meet, Adam? We all met because we're sick of living, because you two wanted to give it all up, just like I do!"

My hands are over my ears. I hate shouting, I hate it I hate it I hate it. Adam sets his jaw, stares up at Casper unflinching, but I can see the slight tremble to his mouth. He doesn't like it, either. "Is this because of Joey? He dies and you decide you're done?"

"Oh, fuck you. It has nothing to do with him."

"Then how can you just...plan it out so calmly? Put an expiration date on your existence?"

"Because unlike you two," she hisses, scooping up her soda, "I. Am. Unfixable."

The mostly empty can hits the wall with a metallic clink that sounds as hollow as I feel.

We are all broken. Every one of us.

Casper cannot be fixed.

For the first time, the gravity of what that really means hits me. There is no changing her mind because dying is not up to her. She is going to die. Even if we don't take her to the bridge and watch her jump, we'll still be witnessing her death...it will just be a slower process.

"I'll do it." The silence is almost louder than the sound of my voice. "If that's really what you want...then I'll do it."

They look at me as though they've only just remembered I'm here. Adam's expression scrunches up into a multitude of things—uncertainty, sadness, anger, loss—before settling on resignment. "...Yeah. Me, too."

Just like that, the storm is over. Her energy spent, Casper's shoulders slump, the angry fire in her eyes extinguished.