“Some of the best things in life are the ones you have to work hardest for,” I say. “Maybe this baby is one of them.”

I let her go, even though it kills me.

The cigarette I smoke on the ride home does nothing to calm me down.

I don’t think anything will when it comes to Julia.

Chapter Eleven

Julia

Greyson: midday check-in

Greyson: Go.

Julia: Is this a thing now? You checked in this morning.

Greyson: And you were feeling like shit post-coffee. Any better?

Julia: Actually, yes. Starting to feel better on the whole. My Bumpin’ app tells me my symptoms could start to abate now that I’m inching toward the second trimester. Still have a few weeks to go though.

Greyson: Praise David Bowie

Greyson: just downloaded the app. It thinks I’m the one who’s pregnant. I’m 8 weeks and two days, and I may be starting to show.

Julia: Nausea? Tender breasts?

Greyson: Oh yeah. I honestly don’t know how you’ve been doing this for so long.

Julia: Totally sucks. Not going to sugar coat that.

Greyson: Don’t. I like your honesty.

Greyson: So your dad was an architect. Did you learn design from him?

Julia: You’re being nice again.

Greyson: Amuse me

Julia: Yes. He was a big fan of preservation. His specialty was restoring historic homes. You have him to thank for my appreciation of timeless design with a twist.

Greyson: Your expensive taste you mean

Julia: Don’t tell me you’re not obsessed with how Rodgers’ Farms is turning out. I see that twinkle of appreciation in your eye when we’re out there.

Greyson: Julia. It’s beautiful. but you don’t need me to tell you that

Julia: I don’t. Still nice to hear though. Are werewolves too bashful to give praise in person?

Greyson: Baby steps.

Greyson: Where should I pick you up tomorrow for our doctor’s appointment?

Julia: I can drive.

Greyson: So can I. Let me hep

Greyson: *help

Julia: I’ll be at my office on campus. 23 Coming Street. Yellow building that’s leaning to the side. Can’t miss it.

Greyson: always thought it was funny how all the sorority houses are on Coming Street.

Julia: The irony right? The only time I came in college was with my vibrator. See you at 2.

I’m starting to have good days again.

Don’t get me wrong, the bad days are still there. The exhaustion is real, as is the anxiety. But the depression that’s plagued me for weeks has started to lift. I’ll get whole hours of energy and clarity, the fog that’s clouded my brain thinning just enough for me to get decent work done.

Today is a good day. Even my students notice I have some pep in my step during class and office hours. It’s so nice to feel even a little bit like myself again that I get excited.

Or maybe it’s the fact that I get to (hopefully) see the baby today that’s got my heart beating a little faster. I’ve read a lot about my first ultrasound. They’ll measure the baby to determine exactly how far along I am.