I’d be giving up a lot to have this kid.

But the flip side of that equation is that I’d be gaining a lot, too.

A family. The privilege of experiencing the world through a new set of eyes.

Yeah, having a kid without a dedicated partner is not what I thought I’d be doing at this point in my life. It’s going to be a struggle to let go of what I’d hoped my path would look like and embrace how things will actually shake out.

There’s no telling if this path is any better or worse than others I could have taken.

But that doesn’t mean it’s not the right path.

That doesn’t mean I won’t find happiness on it. And who knows, maybe Grey will want to be involved in the baby’s life. Maybe he’ll actually want to be the super invested co-parent I’m looking for. Both my parents were very involved in my life from the start. They showed up to almost everything: tennis matches, spelling bees, birthday parties. I’d love for my son or daughter to have both parents be involved that way, too.

I’d love for this baby to have a special relationship with his or her father, the way I had a special relationship with mine. It made my life infinitely richer.

In fact, if Greyson does want to be involved—and that’s a big if—maybe I should tell him that. I should make that my expectation: that he’s as invested in this baby’s upbringing as I’ll be. Seems only fair. The more upfront I am about what I hope for from him, the easier things will be going forward. I imagine co-parenting is a minefield, even with solid communication. Best to get in the habit of being honest from the start.

If Greyson doesn’t want to be involved, well…then I’ll deal with it. The baby will have plenty of adoring aunties to make up for not having a daddy.

My heart pops around inside my chest.

I’m still not totally sure about keeping this baby. But I am definitely leaning that way.

One thing I am totally sure about? How fucking dismayed Greyson is going to be when I tell him. I’ve seen firsthand how a control freak like him responds to unexpected news.

Not well.

Whatever. I’m not responsible for his reaction, same as I’m not responsible for fixing his jerk-off behavior.

That’s on him.

Either way, I have to tell him.

Taking a deep breath, I shoot him a text.

Chapter Six

Greyson

Julia: I need to talk to you. Can you come to my place tonight?

Greyson: What’s going on

Greyson: youve never invited me over before

Julia: We need to talk in person.

Greyson: Are you ok?

Greyson: Something happen at the barn

Julia: Everything is fine at the barn. My address is 23 Longitude Lane. It’s the apartment above the garage. House with blue shutters. I should be home by 7.

Greyson: Have a ton of research to do. Will be in the office until 8:30 or so