The distinction was just one word, but it was so much more than that. The air was sucked out of me. Oh, God. I hadn’t thought of that. It hadn’t even occurred to me that she could want to be with someone else—someone who wasn’t Chad.

“I bet it’s fucking Vince,” he said. “He’s always hanging around her. Maybe it’s already started between the two of them.” He slid his eyes to me, nostrils flared. “You’d tell me if it was like that, wouldn’t you?”

“Of course I would. If I thought she’d messed around behind your back, do you think I would be doing this for her? You know me a hell of a lot better than that,” I fired back. “She doesn’t want to be with you anymore. I’m sorry. She asked me to tell you so she didn’t have to. I have no idea if it has anything to do with Vince or any other guy.” I hesitated before saying, “And it had nothing to do with your not going out to eat after graduation.”

It didn’t. I would have known if it had, because Penny had just rolled her eyes when Chad said he was going to get baked with the guys instead. At Penny’s insistence, I’d gone in his place.

“I should still talk to her,” said Chad, looking more unmoored than I’d ever seen him. “Maybe we can still figure this out.”

“You shouldn’t,” I said, jumping in front of him when he started to turn around. “It’d just make things worse. More awkward.”

His eyes searched mine, raw and hesitant. “She really doesn’t want me there, does she?”

It would be another dagger in his back if I confirmed it. I settled for saying nothing, but even that said it all.

My silence drew a brittle laugh from him. “Yeah. Okay. Great.” He threw his hands in the air. “Thanks for the message.”

“I didn’t want to,” I said, voice small. “You’re both my best friends. It was awkward for me, too, you know.”

“For you? It doesn’t even affect you.” He paused. “Shit, I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking. You’re part of this, too. I didn’t mean it like—”

I wrapped my arms around myself. “No, you did. It’s fine. I was being—I didn’t think before I spoke. I know you’re hurting worse than me.”

Chad’s face was bathed in shadow. The sun had already dipped beyond view, the golden dusk giving way to dusty lavender. His face tilted in the direction of Penny’s houseboat, looking more faraway than I’d ever seen him.