Everything felt still. My stomach clenched and loosened, clenched and loosened. My heart jackrabbited and my breath came out in soft, shallow breaths. He seemed unaware of my internal turmoil—or that he was the cause of it.

Levi was right. Beginnings could be scary, and there was always a chance that the ending wouldn’t be pretty, but the middle was what made it all worth it. Penny was right, too. People weren’t meant to be preserved in amber. Maybe there were no happily ever afters. But there could be happiness, if I was brave enough to go for it. Though I knew Levi would leave, I wasn’t ready to give up the possibility of us.

I’d been so confused for so long, I just wanted one thing, just one thing that made sense. And the only thing that that made sense to me in that moment was him. So I didn’t stop myself when I tilted forward.

“Babe?”

I closed the distance between us. Before my eyes shut, his face broke into a smile and he leaned toward me. One hand cupped my cheek while the other lightly clutched my shoulder, pulling me closer. Our kiss was sweet and gentle, and when we both pulled away, gasping, he didn’t let me go.

eleven

Almost a week later, my feelings hadn’t abated one tiny bit. The shiny newness of being in like with someone made everything speed up. Minutes didn’t drag, conversations didn’t bore. I was on point, springily refilling coffee and getting orders out at record speed. It had been so long since my last crush that this one hit me with all the weight of a freighter. Even a coffee shop full of hungry customers all vying for my attention didn’t put me off my stride. I was aware of him with every step I took. Aware of this spine-tingling relationship between us that made my eyes trail him without even noticing. What he was doing, what he was reading, whether he had finished his coffee yet … It was a little bit disconcerting, but mostly exhilarating.

At his usual table, Levi sketched. Every few seconds I heard the sharp scratch of the pen against the paper. His breathing had slowed as he devoted himself with singular focus to the task at hand. I envied him his concentration. When he was around, I found myself distracted. It was a smile when no one was watching, it was graphite-stained fingers combing through hair. The cord in his neck that tightened when he couldn’t get something the exact way he wanted it. The hunch of his shoulders and furrow in his brow when he was utterly and completely absorbed by his work.