She took a deep, shuddering breath. “Babe, I just don’t want to see him right now. I don’t want to feel bad about doing what I need to do. If I don’t do this now, then … everything will always be the same. We’ll always be the same. I can see it all stretching in front of me. College, engagement, marriage, children, just … all of it! I can’t deal with love like this. Not right now. We just graduated. I want to be free. I want to feel like I’m growing up, like I’m doing real things. I don’t feel like that when I’m with—” She paused. “With him.”

But I’d heard that little crack in her voice. She hadn’t been about to say with him. She’d meant to say with you two. Both me and Chad. Tingles shot up my spine. If this was my test, I would make sure to pass. I would do what she wanted.

The thing in my stomach calmed. I was doing what it wanted, too.

I stood up. “Okay, okay!” I flashed my palms at her. “I’m going.”

As I scrambled onto the pier, I almost lost my balance. Dotting the boards in front of her boat like a welcome mat were her yacht and sailboat doodles. Chad always encouraged her to pursue art—even when we were little kids, he’d been the first to buy her arts and crafts.

My breath caught as I looked down. Something uncomfortable stole across my heart. My foot had severed the yin-yang chalk drawing.

two

I intercepted Chad at the other end of the pier. He looked up from his phone, vague surprise crossing his face. “Where’s Penny?” His blue eyes darted over my shoulder like he expected her to materialize out of thin air.

“Can we—” I looked around, faltering. There was nowhere for us to go that would be private. Even if Penny didn’t care, and I was sure that deep down she did, I wouldn’t break the news to him in front of other people. Especially since some of our high school dude bros were lounging nearby.

I found an abandoned stretch of sand that was more pebble than beach and pointed to it. Chad slowed his loping strides until we were side by side. From the frequent sidelong glances he threw me, I could tell he was itching to ask what all the secrecy was about.

Chad shuffled his feet in the sand. “What’s going on?”

“I can’t just want to talk to my best friend?” Part of me thought that if I delayed the conversation, it would be easier.

He snorted. “Come on. When’s the last time you and I”—he gestured between us—“actually talked?”

As I opened my mouth to respond, he beat me to it.