When the coaching session finishes, I tell Curtis about it. “I’m guessing it was surfboard wax. Luckily it didn’t seem to affect Jodie’s board much. I mentioned it quietly to Jodie.”

“What did she say?” Curtis says.

“She flushed and said she’d taped clear sticky tape down Suzette’s edges yesterday.”

He laughs. “Remind you of anyone?”

“I didn’t know if I should say anything or if I should just leave them to it.”

“Don’t ask me.” Curtis turns serious. “Sometimes I wonder if I did the wrong thing with you and Saskia. A few times I stopped you from fighting back and maybe I shouldn’t have.”

“Who knows,” I say lightly. “We can’t change the past.”

“So which of them is Saskia and which is you?”

“I haven’t decided. Possibly they’re as bad as each other.”

You’re just as bad as her. I still remember the day he told me that. He doesn’t realize how true it was.

All these years I’ve kept the secret. But when the ice eventually releases Saskia’s body, will they perform an autopsy? I know I shouldn’t have done it but I only intended to tire her out. To hamper her performance in the British Championships, like she hampered mine in the Le Rocher Open.

After all this time, will they still be able to detect the sleeping tablets I crushed into her coffee that final morning?

They were prescription-only tablets and the prescription was in my name. I try to convince myself they made no difference on top of all the other things that happened to her. But they were damn strong and I gave her four. If I hadn’t drugged her, she might have been able to fight Heather off. Or regained consciousness faster. Heather thought the bag moved as they transported her to the glacier. Maybe she wasn’t dead at that point but simply out cold from the pills. Or— Stop. I can’t change the past.

Curtis is looking at the knife-edge ridge above. I squint into the sun and see two figures up there. A shocked sound bursts from my throat.

“What?” Curtis says.

I blink. It’s not them. It’s just a rock formation. Two spindly columns of rock that don’t look the slightest bit human. He pulls me close. I stand in his arms, looking over the Swiss Alps toward France, thinking again of that frozen river. Wondering if somewhere in the glassy depths, Saskia and Odette have found each other. I hope they have.

Another thought surfaces. I try to quash it, as I always do when this particular thought occurs, but it just won’t seem to stay down.

I’ve won.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS