His breaths are loud in the darkness. For long seconds he doesn’t react. Then, just as I hoped, he wrenches his hands free and flips me onto my back.

“Kiss me,” I whisper.

Silence. “My head’s a mess.”

“I know. So is mine.” I trace his mouth with my fingertip. “Kiss me anyway.”

CHAPTER 52

TEN YEARS AGO

Saskia’s soft lips brush mine. I catch Brent’s horror-struck look over her shoulder and jerk away.

“Thanks for last night,” she says.

“I don’t understand,” Brent says. “Are you two together?”

“No,” I say.

“Yes,” Saskia says.

Brent snatches up his snowboard. “I’ll see you up there, Milla.”

“Wait!” I shout.

But he leaves without looking back.

Saskia smirks. “Oops.”

Last night, I may have loved her, but now I’m back to hating her. It would have been bad anyway, Brent’s finding us like this, but she’s just made it a million times worse—and she knows it.

I have to wipe that smug look off her face. “I’m going to tell Odette exactly what you did to me last night.”

I watch her, hoping for a reaction, but all I see is curiosity. She’s wondering what last night meant to me, or if I have it in me to tell Odette.

No. It’s more than that.

She wants me to tell Odette.

Right before the Brits, preferably, to knock her off her game and give Saskia a chance of beating her. For a moment I have to grip the wall. I thought I was playing her, at least to start with, but all along she was playing me. Yet somehow that’s not what stings the most. Last night meant nothing to her.

“Heather and Julien are right,” I say. “You’re a shallow, self-centered bitch who doesn’t care about anyone except yourself.”

Still smirking, Saskia wriggles into her jeans.

I turn my back on her. Heather and Dale; Curtis and Brent; Jacinta. She’s hurt us all. I can’t let her get away with it. Except she will, won’t she? She always does.

Hardly aware of what I’m doing, I make coffee. Behind me, she continues dressing. I shouldn’t do this, but I’m going to.

I hand her the coffee and wait until she finishes it.

“I hope you break your neck,” I say.

Her smile falters. Something flickers across her blue eyes. She zips up her snowboard jacket and heads out the door.

Did I finally get to her? I’m not sure. Even after our earlier intimacy, I’m no closer to understanding her.

—

My heart is still thumping when I enter the cable car. I shouldn’t have done that. Not before a big event like this. I went too far.