Startled, I turn to see Dale beside me at the bar. This is the first time he’s spoken to me since our kiss. “Sorry?” I say.

Dale nods at Curtis’s departing figure. “Curtis Sparks is one of the most competitive people on earth. Plays real mind games. You can’t trust a word he says.”

CHAPTER 45

PRESENT DAY

Curtis and I lie face-to-face in his narrow bunk. The fabric of his thermal top is soft against my hands, the sheets smell of him, and this feels so good I want to cry.

Tell him. But all I can do is gaze at him.

From the tension in his jaw, I sense that he, too, is fighting with himself about something.

“What do you want?” His voice is soft and low.

I’m so nervous, I’m shaking. When I don’t answer, he lifts his hand to my face as though he can’t help himself and drags one of his broad fingers across my bottom lip. “This what you came here for?”

My throat tightens. I don’t know if it’s because of the intense look in his eyes or because I’ve wanted him for so long. Or because of all the times he’s been there for me, whether I wanted it or not. But my voice would crack if I tried to speak.

Curtis must be puzzled by my behavior. He’s never seen me at a loss for words before. “Want me to kiss you?” he whispers.

My throat tightens further.

He brings his face to mine until we’re so close his breath warms my lips. And that’s it—I can’t think about anything except kissing him. My lips part, ready.

But he doesn’t close the distance. “I’m not going to kiss you until I know you want me to.”

I grab his head and pull him to me. He rolls me back against the mattress and kisses me properly—hard and deep. He tastes of toothpaste; his skin smells of woodsmoke. His fingers curl through mine to bring my hands up to either side of my head and he flattens his palms against mine, holding me down to the mattress.

I knew he’d be like this. He’s taking control, like he always does.

Stubble scratches my face, a delicious contrast to the slick heat of his mouth. I’ve never been kissed with such intensity. Maybe I’m not the only one who’s wanted this for a whole decade.

I could fall so hard for this guy. But not here, not now, with all that’s going on and this secret hanging over me. This is terrifying. I want to run from the room.

Curtis comes up for air, eyes intent on my face, reminding me just how good he is at reading me. I blink up at him.

“You okay?”

“Yeah.”