Evil Hansel says something that sounds like “ach, you minor goofy” and the grip slackens. I figure he is right now pretty fucking startled and maybe a little horrified even if he is a nine-year-old psychopath with impeccable Aryan hair. I buck and feel him rattle against my torso so I do it again and then I catch him in one hand and pull at the bag with the other and I pull them apart and—

The world is still there.

Bright and dizzy and I am alive and FUCK YOU AGAIN FUCKERS I am alive.

I look around and see Evil Hansel and his whole face is covered in red me-funk. I wait for him to pull the knife and come at me but—

But Evil Hansel is just completely still.

I realize he is listening to my breathing which is a weird fucking noise like a seal barking in a plastic box.

“Yeah you little Nazi I’m breathing through my neck hole! You try it and see how that goes! C’mere I’ll show you ya little fucking Heydrich on a tricycle—”

I can say this because my special tactical trache pen is fenestrated to allow for speech it is not like that thing you see in movies where the guy sounds like a kazoo. Doc has all the best stuff.

Evil Hansel actually flinches.

I wonder for a second if he is afraid of blood but he can’t be that’s not it.

I wonder if he thinks I’m just going to kill him now with laser vision or something I mean in the end he is nine so—

Evil Hansel runs out of the room and I swear he is crying.

Well sure fine be a kid suddenly. Be a fucking kid and run away you little—

Fuck you anyway you murderous little bastard.

…

…

Fuck.

Fuck fuck FUCK IT.

I’m standing here with another fucking hole in me and breathing through a TUBE for the love of—

And HE’S the one crying that is just—

Fuuuuuck it FUCK it.

How the fuck do I feel like I’m the monster here?

—

Call Doc. Doc sends Saul. Saul comes and carries me down to the goods bay and we disappear. It’s not the most sophisticated disappear not like we have actually vanished more like quietly left and not waved at anyone. There is blood everywhere in the hotel room so we may assume the management will be calling the cops on Banjo Telemark.

catastrophe artist missing after terrorist shootout