“Eiger. I do not wish to be rude but you understand this is a serious offer and given that you answered the phone you cannot possibly also answer the question. This is not your problem you should kick it upstairs.”

“…Yes very well sir.”

Click bloop clicky bloop.

“I am Hans Eiger. Who are you?”

“This is Olembert Hecht I wish to buy you.”

“We are not—”

“Why does everyone always say that of course you are. The market value of your company is assessed at one hundred and seventy million euros. I will give you one hundred seventy-five million euros today consider the extra like a personal tip.”

“No this is absurd. Absolutely absurd. No one does business in this—”

“Two hundred and twenty-five million.”

What?

“I have increased my offer by fifty million euros I am in a hurry. Also I am a little freaked-out by how inexpensive banks are they should be way more expensive than this that is just common sense. But I looked on the Internet and everything there is true. Yes or no will be fine ideally yes everyone will be happier.”

“I do not—you are rude.”

“I am energetic.”

“You are rude.”

“I am just in a hurry I wish to spare you some upset and tribulation is all. Take the money it’ll be great.”

“I do not want it.”

“That is not relevant this is capitalism Mr. Eiger it is the apotheosis of the system of the world. It is the precise statement of your country’s ferocious ethos of independence and business. This is your moment sir you can do anything from here. Found a new company in competition with your old one if you wish there will be no prohibition on such behavior. Go white water rafting with a trio of exotic dancers and fall asleep under Mexican stars. Buy an island I know of a very nice one I was thinking it would be ideal for me but for you Mr. Eiger I will step back. The world is your oyster sir it is the overpriced delicacy of your choice. It is your foie gras your caviar your fermented snake.”

“Who eats—no that is not important—”

“Mexican stars Mr. Eiger.”

“This also I do not want I am nearly seventy I am respectable—”

“That in my experience is not a bar but you know—”

“Mr. Hecht!”

“Mr. Eiger—”

“MR. HECHT—”

“Mr. Eiger no. I am speaking now. I will listen in a moment.”

“…Very well. Proceed.”