I get the check and I walk away and with each step I take away from the table it is harder and harder to know that I was ever there at all. Ghost money: the Poltergeist in the machine.

—

Mr. Client takes his baby face and goes back to his yacht or his helicopter or his mansion or whatever the fuck this guy has that he thinks is so all-fired important and I think about robbing banks and my modus out of which I am all the kinds of subtle and shut up yes I actually am and look here is me subtling—

There is one easy way to gain access to any bank. It is the quietest and the most subtle and that is what I am being paid for. Also I am a negotiating sort of guy it is always my preference. Oftentimes you can get more by offering a guy his heart’s desire than you ever will the other way. More than that it is professional and appropriate and it is just polite. In any business but in this business most especially politeness is never wasted because you see how disagreements can escalate. You always offer the other guy a parachute.

VoIP call outbound.

Ring ring.

“Hallo Die Festung Kircheisen?”

“Hi there my name is Olembert Hecht.”

Obviously my name is not Olembert Hecht that is a lie although you know philosophically if I call myself Olembert Hecht and I perform Olembert Hecht I mean aren’t we all in the end just the intersection of our own created no I’m fucking with you it’s a lie.

I figure Olembert Hecht is a transactional sort of person he is Australian with diffusely north European ancestry. Olembert is not a made-up name but it sounds almost like it might be. It could come from almost anywhere like the name of a new Asian deluxe-brand executive saloon. By the same token no one knows exactly what it says about its owner. Olembert is himself and nothing else and right now he is the voice of modern economics. He is capitalism walking.

“Hallo Mr. Hecht how can I help you today?”

“I wish to buy you.”

Reception guy does not get that Olembert is a fucking structural imperative and a deep premise of our civilization, so he says:

“I will pass you to client care.”

“No you misunderstand I do not wish to be a client I wish to buy your company. Entirely.”

“We are not for sale.”

“Everything that is commercial is for sale the question is only whether the price is right and I am always right. Are you the primary stockholder?”

“No that is Mr. Eiger.”

(Like Eye-gher.)

“Then I need to speak to Mr. Eiger this is a time-limited offer.”

“I—”