“If we had his actual butt we would have the rest of him or else I guess it would not be so much an issue anymore boss.”

“But if we just as a matter of curiosity if—”

“No.”

“Seriously?”

“Boss—”

“Yeah okay. It’s just he worries about his body mass index so—oh.”

“What oh?”

“Soup.”

“Soup?”

“I am going to kill him with soup Charlie.”

“Um okay?”

“Not with soup maybe but definitely because of soup.”

“Yes?”

“Soup and emeralds Charlie. These are the key things here. I must go now.”

“Where?”

“Bogotá.”

—

Some things you got to do in person. There’s no phoning it in there’s just showing up. Often they’re little things like this but you still got to go and it can only be you.

Can’t take the Demon plane they will be watching that. Gonna be some guy named Urs in the bag-handling line who has a friend who has a friend who works for Eiger. A woman called Charlotte who works passport control. Someone.

Happily I have close relationships in the international pilot community I can draw on so I will just go now and fly fly fly—

“Price.”

“Hi Doc I am just going to Bogotá—”

“Yes no doubt whatever but you also have a thing for me.”

“I do it is—”

“No Price not that thing.”

“Always that thing.”

“Eh-eh Price no now is not the time.”

“You brought up my thing and my thing is partial to you so—”

“Well yes I too am partial to that thing.”

“O ARE you o good let us repair to a bedroom and—”

“…This will not get you out of doing that other thing I was talking about.”

“There are no other things there is only—”

“Price.”

“No indeed quite understood.”

“Excellent bring the klister I have an idea—”

“…”

“Do not say anything about finding the klister.”

“No ma’am.”

Klister is a kind of ski wax for when you want to go real slowly and no of course that is not what we do with it you are an idiot. But if you put klister on your skin you can lean on a wall and not slip down it even when normally you would slip down it and with the right understanding of sexual physics and good core strength Doc is correct that you can have basically hot spider lady sex.

She puts my back against the wall walks up it holding my hands. She stalks me as if she is going to eat me. It is the most fucked-up appalling thing I have ever seen.