My shoulders slouch, the guilt beginning to settle in my bones. "That's kind of cute of him."

"Trust me, when he asked me to come over because he had something he wanted to tell me, that was the last thing I expected. I wasn't mad, though, and I certainly didn't reject the idea of you guys getting married. Honestly, I was really ecstatic until I heard you said no. What the hell is wrong with you?"

She isn't angry, but more so frustrated because I’d rejected his proposal. It makes me feel a torrent of emotions for holding back, and especially for causing James to suffer in silence. Natalie clearly has no issue and I'm not sure how to respond to that.

"It's not just you, though." I tip my head to exhale up at the sky. "I feel like we have a good thing going on. Why put a piece of paper between us and ruin it? We're basically married now, anyway. Why do we have to change anything? I feel like that's asking for trouble. You know how they say don't wake a sleeping baby?"

"No, I hate kids, but keep going so I can hear this nonsense."

Natalie isn't sold. I can see it in the way she's glaring at me. I'm searching for answers from every corner of the earth, when she and I know deep down the only place I'll find them is in me.

I sigh inwardly. "It just means don't ruin a good thing."

"First of all, my dad’s a lawyer. He loves to live by the law. Marriage, in his eyes, is making it official. Making it official gets his jollies off. It's basically something no one can ever take from him or you. It's something only you two can have. What makes you think it'll ruin you guys, anyway? What if it bounds you together even more?"

I stare at Natalie, wondering where this romantic side of her came from. She's usually so far removed from the idea of marriage and commitment, yet here she is giving some pretty good advice. I bet she reads my old sappy romance novels I left behind at her apartment. I bet she wants the white picket fence and two point five kids. Maybe even a dog since she hates cats.

"I'm scared, Nat. I've lost so many good things in my life. My parents, Grammy. I almost lost you and him. You guys are all I have left. The same way James would move mountains to get what he wants, I’d do to prevent anything bad happening."

"You didn't almost lose me. We were on a mini break." Regret softens her words.

In times like this when everything seems impossible to have, I love my best friend even more for reminding me hope isn't lost. Our bond is strong, but that doesn't mean we're unshakable. Shit happens and it's all about how we react to it. We've lived and we’ve learned. Since day one we've been there working out our problems as a team, just like now.