"What's the real reason?" James doesn't bother hiding the pain in his question. "Can you at least give me that?"

Tears fill my eyes and my jaw bobs. I wish he’d never asked me to marry him.

His arms unravel around me completely. The air leaves my lungs in a slow withdrawal as he let’s go. My life, everything I love, suddenly feels gone to me.

James takes a step to the side and puts a small amount of space between us.

"James." I pant, winded as panic sets in.

My stomach drops.

I'm going to be sick.

I'm losing him.

My eyes search his. He's quiet as he moves to the side again, detaching from the concept of us. I can feel it in my bones, in my heart of hearts, and it scares me what might come next. What he could say or ultimately do. That's not what I want for us, or for him to experience.

"James, please."

I reach for him and place my hand on his forearm. He waits, looking at me expectantly. I need him to know… I don't know what I need him to know other than I love him, and that I need him to not hate me, that this doesn't have to be a deal breaker for us.

"You know you're it for me, right? That I love you? That nothing will weaken how I feel?"

There's a slight drop in his shoulders. James doesn't respond. He doesn't move. He stands still like it's both a serious struggle for me to be touching him and for him to be in front of me. I think that's harder for me to handle more than anything. Light begins to fade from his eyes. I wait, listening to the ocean softly lap against our bungalow, and wonder how we got to this point.

"Right?" I say, my chin wobbling. "You know I love you more than life."

Gently, he pulls his arm away so I'm not touching him anymore. His body is partially turned away from me now, and that just makes it worse.

"James?"

I don't know what I'm asking for. I don't think he does either. What I want is for him to see that I love him, that we aren't going anywhere, and that nothing needs to change, but he doesn't. He’s purposely not looking at me, and I can't stomach it. His avoidance could mean so many things.

My heart is breaking by the second. But so is his. I thought we were stronger than this.

Though his eyes are lowered to the ground, James straightens my shirt so my backside is covered. We’re alone out here. No one could see us unless they came onto the deck of our private pavilion. He didn't have to cover me—he chose to.

A tear slips from the corner of my eye. He takes a step away from me like he's ready to leave and I gasp. It feels like there's hundreds of miles between us now and not a few inches. He takes another step and my knees start to buckle.