Emotions well in my eyes. James can be a total mush ball, but he never gets this mushy and deep into his feelings like he is right now. I can feel them striking me all at once. I know James loves me and he'd do anything to see me smile, but tonight makes me think he's hiding something…like he's sick, and doesn't have much time left.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?"

My lips form a thin flat line and my jaw trembles. He grabs my arms, frightened eyes look back at me.

"Tell me what's wrong."

"Are you sick? Something that you're afraid to tell me? Is that why you're being sweet to me and had this set up?" My voice shakes, and I feel so stupid saying what I did, but I can't think straight now that my heart's a frantic mess. "Because I need to know if you have a terminal disease and need to buy two caskets because I can't live without you, James. I just can't."

James stares back at me in complete silence. His jaw is hanging open and his blue eyes are unmoving. I knew it. I guessed and he didn't expect that.

My stomach is in knots. Now I'm always going to associate Tahiti with James telling me he's sick.

"Uh, Aubrey?" he says, scratching the side of his head. "There's nothing wrong with me. I don’t know where you got that I was sick from, but I'm not. I’m healthy as a horse."

My eyes shift back and forth between his. "What?"

"I'm not sick." He drops his arms and I suddenly feel bad. "I just want you to know how much you mean to me and that I really just fucking love you so much. I can't believe you thought I was sick."

I roll my lips between my teeth and cringe inside. My eyes drop to the floor as my cheeks bloom with embarrassment. I feel like a moron now. A small giggle makes it past my lips. Closing my eyes, I laugh at how dense I am sometimes. Natalie likes to say it's a good thing I'm pretty when I say something really ignorant. I bet if she were here, she'd say it again.

"Baby, I'm so sorry." I put my hand on his chest. "I feel terrible."

"And that's why you laughed," he says with zero emotion. No smile. No personality.

Oh, no. James is hurt and that makes me feel like shit. I hate that I sometimes laugh at the wrong moments.

"I laughed because I'm dumb. I'm really sorry, James. I never once doubted your love for me, so when you started talking, I thought you were preparing me for something bad."

He doesn't say anything, and it causes my pulse to spike. God, I fucking ruined it.

"James? I really am sorry."

"I guess my emotions are a little more hands-on this trip." His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows. "But that's because I'm so proud of you after watching how hard you've worked these last couple of years. I love you. I know we've been together a while now, but I've never felt like this. Like you hold all the power inside of me, and I can't do anything about it. Like my fucking heart won't stop burning at the sight of you. If this is what real love feels like, then I never want to have the chance to experience it with anyone else ever again. What I feel for you scares the shit out of me. Every move I make, everything I think about, it involves you in some way. I guess the way you make me feel turns me into a sap, but that's what you do to me, Aubrey." He pauses. "I can't turn off what I feel for you, and I won't."