The problems with the infamous vampire production—anyone remember those guys? I thought everyone was all about werewolves these days—seem to be worse after Remington Pictures replaced Bobby Strong with Anna Kovács. Remember her? She used to be married to the one agent in town no one crosses and everyone pretends they aren’t parodying in the movies, Tom Melton. (As a reminder to Mr. Melton’s lawyers, you can’t sue someone for defamation if they’re telling the truth. Please don’t sue us, sirs.) She also directed that film your arty girlfriend loves, The Castro, that you sat through just trying to see if you were going to get her out of her fishnets at the end of the date. Ms. Kovács’s latest romantic comedies—Last Night in Cincinnati and Here We Go!—didn’t do so well for Rialto Brothers.

Now she’s supposed to be wrangling a vampire and his girlfriend, Derek Vance and Nicole Cristoli—hope the glassware is locked up—but the cast and crew have nothing good to report from the change in direction.

“Too many delays on set,” one unnamed source reported. “Extras standing around with nothing to do.”

“Sure, the studio needs to fill some quota with women,” another source told us. “But does she have to be such a bit—” We get it. This isn’t a family site, but let’s not trigger the feminists.

“The pastries are always stale,” a source who knows what’s really important on set told us.

If the shooting problems were the only issue, we would still be worried about Annalise Kovács’s career, because the only thing falling faster is Reed Rutherford’s comeback. Yes, he’s been added to the cast too. How that guy has not ended up trending on Twitter from a drunken stumble through an offy reciting his last Shakespeare monologue, sweating and drinking from a bottle of plonk, the mind reels. (We can use Google same as the next guy. Yay us!) Maybe tomorrow?

Alas, we’ve buried the lede here, but it’s a good one. Word from the set is that Annalise Kovács is screwing—we told you this wasn’t a family site—the crew member in the photo. We don’t know who he is, but our intern’s only comment was “thighs,” so the kids are into him. Just how young is he? We thought it was only men in the industry who used a movie shoot as a speed-dating event, but it turns out women’s rights are equal rights. If we had a lawyer on staff, we would ask if it is okay to sleep with your underling, but we find it cheaper to run without an HR department. We know what happens on set stays on set, but isn’t this what everyone was complaining about?