Chapter 84

I spent two weeks in the hospital.

My mother would come and visit, staring at me as if she no longer knew who I was. “Are you sleeping?” she asked, fidgeting in her chair.

Across the common room, a man started thrashing and shrieking. The nurses ran to him, leading him out.

I rolled my eyes. “Would you be able to sleep in a place like this?”

We sat in silence for a few moments. Patients shuffled around behind us like paranoid slugs, not really in the world at all.

Staring at my mother’s shiny, dark hair, I was overcome with the memory of brushing it as a little girl. I’d run the comb through it, over and over, until she decided it was time for me to go to bed. I had the urge to touch it, and reached forward. “Mother?”

“Yes, doll?”

“Can I brush your hair?”

The edges of her lips dropped.

Dr. Hurley approached us, addressing my mother before she could respond. “Can I speak with you in private?”

“Sure.” She followed him out of sight.

I sat deeper in my chair, pressing my head further into the cushion. The pressure in my neck intensified as I pushed, harder and harder. I could no longer differentiate the ghosts from the people. Everything was so bizarre, so far from reality, that there was no distinction.

After a few moments, Dr. Hurley appeared. “Grace, will you join us?”

I peeled myself off the chair, cringing at the sound of my bare legs slowly separating from the vinyl seat.

As we walked across the hall, we passed a young patient who was sitting on the ground, nonsensically singing to herself. I ran my fingers along the top of her head, and Dr. Hurley reminded me, “No touching.”

Entering his office, the doctor shut the door behind me as I took a seat in the chair next to my mother.

“So, your mother and I talked, and we think it’s best you go home,” Dr. Hurley announced as he sat down behind his desk.

“Isn’t that wonderful news?” My mother smiled nervously, intertwining her hands in her lap.

“Mhm. Wonderful.”

“We feel that you’re no longer a threat to yourself, and we believe you will have a better chance of recovering at home, where you’re comfortable.”

“Okay.” I blinked. I felt nothing.

“We’re releasing you into the care of your mother, so you’ll need to stay with her.” Dr. Hurley looked from my face to hers.

I eyed her.

“Well.” He joined his palms together, his elbows resting on the desk. “If we’re all in agreement, we can get started on the paperwork.”

I forced a smile, closed my eyes, and nodded excessively.

Chapter 85

As a child, it was impossible to separate me from my mother. I was obsessed with her. She was all that I knew, as mothers are when you are born to them. I loved to watch her. Every movement she made seemed miraculous. I didn’t know her feet were on the ground. I thought she floated. I clung to every word that passed from her lips as if they were tangible, believing I could do no wrong if only I held on tightly enough.