Not that they were wrong, but it sure shifted the tone of my sister’s wedding day, putting him in the spotlight. Leslie didn’t care. She was marrying the Wallet and she was immune to all else. About six months before the wedding Momma went on a crash diet, determined to look good for the big day. She’d be so drop-dead gorgeous, Daddy would be sorry he left, she said about a thousand times while she choked down dozens of hard-boiled eggs and chomped on celery sticks. When the day arrived, she looked the best that she had in ages, but a magician she wasn’t. And don’t you know Dad just had to bring his new wife with him? Would you believe Lola was her name? She looked like a young Jackie Kennedy. Momma took one look at her and wanted to just lay down and die. That was the other time I felt truly sorry for her. Getting kicked to the curb in front of Sullivan’s Island society is the worst. But being undone at your daughter’s wedding by the presence of the stunning woman who stole your husband is horrific. Momma wasn’t stupid; she knew he was catting around when she found condoms hidden in the air conditioner when she was changing the filter.

As in many small towns across the country, everyone on this island has something to say about everybody’s business. I mean, most of the time I didn’t like Momma very much, but I didn’t like Dad at all. These were not easy people to like or love. But I didn’t want to see my mother publicly humiliated.

It didn’t seem to bother Dad or Leslie. Not one bit. I remember I took Momma aside and said, “Screw Dad. Lola’s nothing but trash.” She burst into tears and I took her to the ladies’ room. She washed her face and said, “I think I’d like to eat some cake.” That was the end of Skinny Katherine. Pretty soon, Big Mean Momma was back. And maybe that’s another reason I didn’t leave her. By the time her divorce from Dad was final, she’d had enough rejection to last ten lifetimes. And while we’re on the subject of weight? Momma could weigh a thousand pounds if she wanted to, but I had always worried for her health. Nowhere in any medical journal did the experts say that being overweight was a good idea. It was just as dangerous as being too skinny. And now here we were. Momma’s health was officially in jeopardy. Of course, while I couldn’t swear her weight had a thing to do with it, it couldn’t have helped.