“That’s right. And you’re a nice boy.” I thought, Think about that one, old man. “Unless a person is absolutely certain things are way off kilter, it’s always better to mind your own business. And I am absolutely certain.”

“Well, you’ve given me a lot to consider,” he said.

This entire conversation was all in one ear and out the other.

“Archie, I’ve known you since the day the boys were born. We’ve never had a serious difference of opinion.”

“Are we having one now?” he said and had the audacity to smile at me.

“Yeah, we are. You may think this is a joke, but no, sir, it is not. We’re having a huge difference of opinion.”

I walked down his steps, across the road to my house, and went inside. I sat down at the kitchen table and had a long-overdue cry. After about thirty minutes, I lifted my head to see my bees, bearded on the window screen over the sink.

Chapter 24: Leslie, the QB, and Vegas

Suzanne said, “Do you know there are about a thousand people living underground in Las Vegas? They’re in tunnels.”

“No way,” I said.

“Way,” Charlie said.

Chapter Twenty-Four

Leslie, the QB, and Vegas

There would be no grass growing under our feet. Momma and I didn’t waste a moment in getting down to business. In the first few days we were in Las Vegas, we found a fabric store and bought a bolt of muslin, shears, thread, tailor’s chalk, and everything else she would need to get started. There were sketches of costumes taped all over the walls of Charlie’s dining room, which was now transformed into a pattern and sewing room. Momma measured and remeasured Charlie from one end to the other, noting everything on a legal pad.

“I love your apartment, Charlie,” Momma said, while hooking up the back of a bustier we’d bought to give Charlie a bit of cleavage.

“Why, thank you. It’s just for now, but the view of the desert is quite nice. Especially the sunsets.”

“You’re getting too skinny,” Momma said to him. “There’s not enough meat on your bones to achieve the desired effect.”

“I have to be svelte for this plan to work,” he said. “Ow! That’s too tight!”

“Pride knoweth no pain, Charlie boy,” Momma said. “Suck it up! I still can’t believe I’m doing this.”

He was caught somewhere in between strangulation and suffocation.

Charlie looked at me and said, “She’s trying to kill me. You know that, don’t you?”

I knew no such thing.

I laughed and said, “Oh, Charlie. I’m afraid Momma’s right.”