“Nope. Not a one. I don’t know if she sees things or what, but something’s definitely wrong over there.” He made a circle with his finger beside his head, the international sign for insanity. “She says the bees are after her, trying to make her lose her mind.”

“That’s not likely,” I said. “African bees might kill somebody, but honey bees? Not a chance.”

“I know. I looked up honey bees on the Internet. Boy, you can find out just about anything online these days, can’t you? Anyway, your little critters are just about completely benign. And they’re good for flower and vegetable garden production. And their honey should help to relieve allergies for other island residents.”

“I feel like I ought to give you a gold star, Ted!” I said and laughed.

I was relieved to have an ally in law enforcement. I had no idea how crazy Sharon might get.

“I’m off on Tuesday. Want to get some dinner?”

“Sure. Why not?”

I had a date. Damn. Oh, my God. I had a date. Yeah, but it was Ted. No reason to get nervous there.

That night, while I was having a glass of wine and making a list of things I needed to do, I got a text message from Leslie.

Send Momma’s sweats and her sneakers. She’s staying for a while and so am I. Charlie’s contest is in two weeks and he’s not ready by a long shot. News flash! Momma’s got a beau.

Next, a picture appeared in my feed. I wasn’t sure what I was looking at. And then came the explanation.

That’s Momma with Suzanne Velour.

What the hell, Momma? What the hell?

I texted back, Is Suzanne Velour a woman?

No, came her reply. She’s a heterosexual man who’s a super successful female impersonator like Dame Edna.

Oh, I feel much better, I texted back.

I laughed. I hoped they both stayed in Las Vegas until they sowed all their wild oats. I had enough excitement in my life. And I had a date.

Chapter 26: Char

“Ever hear of a gangster named Bugsy Siegel?” Suzanne said.

“I think so,” the QB said.

“He named his casino the Flamingo after his girlfriend, because she had long legs . . .”

“Like a flamingo?” the QB said.

“Yeah, like you and me!”

You could hear them laughing in Arizona.

Chapter Twenty-Six

Char

In the morning, Charlie and I were on his tiny terrace enjoying a cup of coffee and some cinnamon rolls when Momma burst through the French doors making a very dramatic entrance.

“Good morning, possums!” she said.

“I was about to come and check for a pulse,” Charlie said. “Good morning!”

“It’s good to be alive,” Momma said and gave each of us a peck on the cheek.

“Come sit,” I said. “I’ll get you a cup.”

“Thank you, sweetheart,” she said.