How can my fin feel so right but everything feel so wrong with Drop here, in the flesh, taking me in? They look at me expectantly, and I don’t know what to say. This was my idea to begin with, to convince myself I’m meant to be mer, and I can’t quit now.

“Are you going to get in or what?” It sounds way more confident than I feel, my heart pounding a million beats a second when Drop takes off their shirt. Their chest is smooth, their light brown skin practically glistening. There’s not a single hair like the ones covering Sean’s torso, and their flat stomach makes me miss the way Sean’s would push up against me when we kiss.

The thought of Sean leaning into me makes my fin flush. Drop notices, and they must assume I’m thinking of what it will be like when our tails are finally linked together, because they hop over to the tub and practically jump in. A flash of purple light signals Drop’s transformation. Their long tail appears in the blink of an eye, too fast for me to get out of the way, and it pushes me up against the side of the tub.

My elbow hits the stone, sending tingles so intense they make my teeth itch. “Oh flick!” I yell.

Drop lurches forward to check on me, water splashing over the sides. “Are you okay?”

The more they move to make sure I’m not hurt, the more the water flops out of the tub, completely soaking the bathroom floor. This thing may be extra large, but it’s definitely not big enough for two mer. It’s so ridiculous that I laugh, a bark so similar to Sean’s that it makes my heart drop again. This idea is so flicking stupid. I honestly thought this was the best way to connect with my mer body? Trying to force this feeling in a bathtub?

Drop finally picks up on how lame the whole thing is and cracks up. “What are we doing?” they ask, that dimpleless grin spreading across their face.

We finally settle, each of us smashed up against a side of the tub. “This is exactly what I imagine sardines look like in a tin. We’re such flicking idiots.” I playfully whack my fin against Drop’s. Mine lies completely on top of theirs thanks to how cramped the space is. It would be hard to get more fin-to-fin contact than this, but there’s nothing intimate or romantic about it. It’s just a painful and hilarious reminder of how unnatural it is for mer to be on land. At least it confirmed that. I really do need the Blue.

POUND POUND POUND!

The sudden slamming on the front door makes me jump.

“What is that?” Drop asks.

But I don’t have time to wonder as a voice outside answers for me.