“Could you imagine?” Drop asks, more to themself than me, while I picture everything Sean and I did the past few days: kissing on my couch, going over to his place and kissing on his couch, sitting on his lap and feeling his thighs and stomach beneath me while I leaned into him and kissed him hard. Thinking that kissing him might be my future forever. But that’s not what Sean wants. He wants Dominic. And when I really think about it, it’s not what I want either.

I want the Blue. I want home. I want Drop and me to be floating back in Pacifica with Bubbles and Breach and the Elders nagging at us to get back to work or showing us how to properly pluck a bothersome barnacle off a manatee’s back.

But if that’s really the case, why can’t I stop thinking of Sean? I just wish I could get back to the Blue right now, right this second, so my body would remember anything I’m feeling in this human life doesn’t hold a fin to what life is like in the water.

I just need a moment where I’m connected to my mer form again. And there’s one thing I know that is supposed to be the most connected thing you could ever do with your tail.

Scaling.

I glance at Drop. They always felt like the mer I’d do it with when I was finally ready. And I have a feeling they thought the same about me. Maybe we shouldn’t wait. Maybe we both deserve to have this. We’ve completed our Journeys, so what harm could it do?

I grab Drop’s hand and stand up, tugging them toward the tub. “Hey. Want to try something with me?”

The second my legs hit the tub, I feel the change. A blast of warmth that has nothing to do with the water filling the large stone basin as my legs melt together and bright orange scales cascade from my waist.

I sigh and close my eyes. This is me. This is the body I’m meant to be in. This is when I feel most at peace. The anxious anchovies fluttering in my stomach finally start to subside.

Knock, knock. “Can I come in?”

I spoke too soon. Those nervous little fish come right back. “Yeah, sure,” I say, sounding way more disappointed than I mean to.

But Drop doesn’t seem to notice. Sean would, the second the words were out of my mouth. As soon as Drop opens the bathroom door and takes in my fin, they grin from ear to ear. I can’t help but notice they don’t have any dimples.

“There’s the Crest I’ve been dying to see,” Drop says.