“Dominic is totally buying it,” Kavya says. “You are one hundred percent winning him back. That kiss was perfect, Ross. I thought it might be more awkward, seeing as how it was your first, but wow. You both looked like absolute horndogs back there.”

In the Blue, we ride whirlpools a lot. You start at the top, entering from the surface and letting the funnel of water whip you around until the very end. Your heart jumps into your throat, and as you get sucked down, it feels like it could fall out of your tail fin. That’s how I feel now. Like I’ve been whipped around and my heart is ready to fall out of my tail . . . or butt, I guess, but not in that good way. It’s full of dread at Kavya’s words, a huge sinking sensation taking over my chest. I’m not sure why exactly. This is the plan. This is what’s supposed to happen.

So why don’t I feel like this is a win?

I glance at Sean. He’s frowning, his eyes darting between Dominic and me, back and forth, like kelp getting buoyed about in the current.

Kavya squeezes us both again and says, “Come on, this is great!”

“Yeah,” Sean finally says. “Great.”

But he says it like his heart’s not in it.

And for some reason, that lifts mine.

     Sean     

I don’t find out until after the meet that I beat Miguel and placed top three in all my events. I’ll be going into qualifiers in a couple weeks in the top heat, something I’d been hoping for all year, but that’s not what’s on my mind all night. Tossing and turning, I can’t get to sleep because of all my pent-up energy. Not after that epic kiss. No kiss I’d had up until that point compared to the way Ross kissed. The way they grabbed my towel and just yanked me forward. It was spontaneous, it was romantic, it was hot. It was the perfect rom-com moment, when the two leads finally realize they’re meant to be together, Lara Jean looking at Peter in To All the Boys and realizing that their fake dating wasn’t fake anymore.

But that couldn’t be happening with me. None of this is real.

Well, the feelings were sure real. The way Ross’s lips felt so soft and pillowy, how it was like they sucked the breath out of me but gave me theirs, a back-and-forth of air and energy. And the way I whipped that towel from over my shoulders to around my waist was definitely real. But Ross was just kissing me to play a part. We talked about the kiss so many times leading up to the meet, how in order to make the scene really believable, we had to make any kiss between Dominic and Miguel seem amateur.