With a hard push against the platform, I fly over the edge, into the Blue.

I shoot down to the water, screams following behind me. As soon as my fin hits the ocean, my body flares with heat. It’s not the feeling I was expecting at all, jumping into the cold Pacific. The heat spreads quick as a flick as the rest of my body submerges. It’s magic coursing through my veins, searing away every last part of me that is mer as my legs appear, the first time I’ve ever had them in the water.

I can’t see Sean anywhere. My body is bobbing up and down, thrown about by the waves crashing along the pier. Finally, as my body is pushed up by a swell, I see Sean’s hand slowly float beneath the surface. I may already be too late.

I swim toward him with all my might. When I get to the spot he went under, I take three deep breaths, hoping beyond hope it’s enough oxygen to hold my breath while saving Sean. I’ve never had to worry about drowning before.

In. Out. In. Out. In.

And I’m under.

The water is dark, little pinpricks of light peppering the surface from all the vendors and people pointing their phones down to film everything instead of helping. But it’s not enough to illuminate the Pacific. I can’t see Sean anywhere. It’s just dark water in every direction.

I turn around over and over and over again, but there’s nothing.

Then . . .

Swish.

The sudden movement against my ankle makes me jump. Nothing has been able to sneak up on me underwater before. But I fight past the pounding of my heart to look down, where I can just barely make out a limp human form.

Sean.

I swim deeper until my face is level with his.

I’m too late.

His eyes are closed. His skin looks pale, ghostly, and I don’t think it’s just from the lack of light down here. He hasn’t breathed in minutes. It’s too long. Far too long.

Sean is gone.

A wave of deep, agonizing grief washes over me. I scream, bubbles pouring from my mouth with all the remaining air in my lungs. I feel like a part of my soul has been ripped out. I never should have set up this stupid apology on the pier. I did this to him. I killed him.

Without thinking, I pull his body to me and kiss him, deeply.

I kiss him to say I’m sorry.

I kiss him to say I love you.

I kiss him to say goodbye.

     Sean