Kids complicate relationships, especially if they are somebody else’s. Years of couples’ counseling have taught me that much. They can antagonize a parent’s new partner or—an image of sweet Tegan with her open smile and Polaroid camera flashes before my eyes—be much kinder and welcoming than their evil mothers. Yes, kids can be a nuisance and add a layer of difficulty to a relationship. But I can’t help feeling that, for the right person, it’d be worth it.

I write “Yes” and turn another page. The next section is titled: “Tell us a little more about yourself.”

9. Are you a morning person or a night person?

♡ Morning person

♡ Night Owl

♡ It depends

I tick “Morning person.”

10. How active would you say you are?

♡ Very, staying fit is important

♡ I only exercise because I have to

♡ I don’t have much time to exercise, but I’d like to do it more often

♡ I’m a couch potato

Every morning I wake up at six to go run. I tick the first heart.

11. What’s your ideal vacation?

From the staggering number of multiple-choice options, I check camping, hiking, sports/activity holiday, mountain location, and adventure break.

12. How do you plan your vacations?

♡ I don’t, I pack and go

♡ I meticulously plan and schedule everything

♡ I arrange the dates and transportation, but I leave the rest to the moment

I’m a mix of two and three, but prefer to picture myself as a spur-of-the-moment guy, so I pick the last option.

13. If you had a day off work, what would you do?

I’d wake up nice and early and drive north to enjoy a good hike in the woods with my dog, Max.

14. Do you follow a particular diet?

♡ Omnivore

♡ Vegetarian

♡ Vegan

♡ Pescatarian

♡ Flexitarian

♡ Beegan

♡ Macrobiotic

♡ Paleo

♡ Keto

My eyes boggle at the overwhelming number of choices provided. Some I don’t even know what they mean. I check Omnivore and move on.

15. What do you like to watch on TV?

Sports, action movies, the news. I’m not much of a TV watcher, though.

After leafing through four more pages of—frankly useless—multiple-choice questions, I finally reach the last page which, to my horror, is all open-ended questions. Don’t tell me they’re going to make me write an essay? I thought I was done with those when I got my master’s in psychology.

Is the third degree just for my Professional Matchmaker to read, or will potential dates read them, too? Should I try to be funny? Charming? I should’ve asked Garrett to explain more about this process. Clearly, he did something right, because he and Leslie are perfect for each other. Even if her taste in friends leaves something to be desired.

42. What are three of your best life skills?

I go with a charming and fun answer, just in case.