I wear socks that match—and, no, it’s not trivial since I don’t buy new socks often, which means I’m in a constant war with my socks-eating washer.

The ability to laugh at myself.

I’m good at helping people. With my job, I can ask a few simple questions and understand what problems a couple is struggling with and I can help them work on their relationship. I love watching people rediscover each other.

43. What is the ONE thing that people DON’T notice about you right away that you WISH they WOULD?

I’m funny

44. Why do you think you’re single?

Ah, good question, even if the answer seems obvious.

I haven’t met the right person

And finally, the last question.

45. What is the most important thing in your life?

Love. I want to find a partner for life. Someone to love and cherish and support no matter what and who will always have my back in return.

I’ve barely put a period on the last answer when the receptionist appears before me.

“Mr. Keller,” Teresa says, “if you’re finished with your questionnaire, I’d kindly ask you to join Jennifer, your dedicated Dating Specialist. Please follow me.”

She leads me to an office, where a blonde woman in her mid-forties—paper-thin and wearing too much makeup and fake tan for my tastes—welcomes me with a bright smile.

“Mr. Keller, what a pleasure to meet you.” She takes my questionnaire from Teresa and shows me the empty chair in front of her desk. “It’s always wonderful to get to know a new client.”

As she sits in her chair, she quickly scans the first and second pages of my Q&A. Once settled behind the desk, she continues. “I see a friend referred you to our agency. Would you mind me asking who?”

“Garrett Green,” I answer, wondering if she’s going to make me repeat all the answers I spent the last half hour painstakingly writing out.

“Oh, right, he and Leslie made such a delightful couple. How are they?”

“Recently engaged.”

“Aww, how wonderful. It always warms my heart to know we fostered such a dream match. Has Garrett by any chance already explained how our bespoke and exclusive matching system works?”

I wish she’d cut back on the sales pitch a little. I’ve already joined, haven’t I?

“No,” I say.

“All right. Let me explain our process. First, we’re going to study your questionnaire thoroughly and pull profiles of women in our system who might be a good fit for you based on your answers.”

“You mean you pick the matches? I don’t have to look at a database or something?”