“I’m glad we could fit you in for a last-minute appointment. Mondays are always busy days,” the woman—Teresa, her name tag states—says. “People go out on the weekend, can’t find anyone decent to date, and finally take the plunge and sign up with us in the new week.”

Or, in my case, they’re invited to a friend’s engagement party, drink too much champagne, and get riled into potentially gambling away a perfectly suitable workspace by the Wicked Witch of the West Office.

“You’ll be meeting with one of our Professional Matchmakers,” she says. “We always advise you be open and honest with them—both about yourself, and what you’re looking for. Remember: we’re here to help you.”

Professional Matchmaker, the qualification alone makes me cringe with skepticism. What on Earth made me sign up for a dating agency?

Oh, right. The bet.

Stay focused. You want that corner office. And also to find your soulmate. Right. The office is secondary, but it’d be a nice added bonus.

Teresa taps at her keyboard with lacquered nails for a few seconds, then looks up at me with another big smile. “Your appointment is at one, which is perfect, as you’ll need about twenty minutes to fill out this short questionnaire.”

Teresa hands me a rigid folder with a bundle of papers clipped on top. Short, my ass. The sucker must be at least thirty pages. Teresa gestures at the steel-blue leather chairs lining the lobby. “Please, take a seat wherever you like.”

I grab a pen and settle in a chair away from the door and the front desk. No one else is waiting, so I have my pick of spots.

With a sigh, I turn the first page of the questionnaire and set to work. I quickly fill in the general information section—Name, Date of Birth, etc.—and move on.

5. What is your current relationship status?

♡ Never married

♡ Divorced

♡ Separated

♡ Widowed

I stare at the question. Already the fact that the agency picked heart outlines in place of regular square checkboxes makes me regret signing up for this circus. I’m half-tempted to get up and leave… but then I’d have to pack up my beautiful new office. I’m a man of my word; I’ll honor our deal. So, I stay.

As I tick the “never married” box, I wonder what Medusa will check. Is she a divorcee? How does Tegan’s absentee father play into their little family drama?

6. Do you have children?

No

Miss Attorney is going to reply “Yes” to this one. And why do I have to think about her with every single answer I give?

Because she’s the competition.

Right, that’s the only reason.

7. Aside from any children you or your new partner may already have, would you like to start a new family?

Yes

8. Are you open to dating someone who already has children?

Am I?