“Ah.” Mira sighs. “Champagne toasts and diamond rings. This friend used the heavy artillery.”

“I guess he did.”

“About tonight.” Mira grabs the bill’s leather folder and puts in her credit card. “I suggest we split dinner and leave as friends?”

“Friends sounds great.”

***

Outside the restaurant, I say goodnight to Mira with a friendly hug, put her in a cab, and skip a ride home in favor of a walk. I’m taking a lot of late-night strolls these days.

The temperature is mild for nine p.m. in early May, and New York really is the city that never sleeps. As I wander the streets, lost in thought, I encounter all sorts of people: college students out for a cheap drink, club-goers, the socialites, the Wall Street types, older folks like myself going home after dinner, the hipsters, the artists… The city has it all. But the multicolored crowds aren’t enough to distract me; my thoughts keep going back to a certain Attorney in Heels.

Where is she now? At home with Tegan? What are they doing? How long before the agency will send her on a date with someone else? And what if the next dude isn’t a creep who brings his mother to second dates?

Vivian is beautiful, smart, and fun in her own very annoying way. It won’t be long before a man who’s not a complete fool snatches her up. The idea makes me want to puke. But what can I do about it? I can’t ask her out; she’d laugh in my face. She hates my guts. Maybe not hate-hate, but she’s strongly prejudiced against me, and how can I blame her? I attacked her out of nowhere when we first met, and I haven’t always been on my best behavior around her. But only because she pushes my buttons so quickly she trips my sanity.

Right. I need to dispel her misconceptions about me. Yes, and I know where to start.

I’m a man with a plan.

Twenty-three

Vivian

Friday morning, I exit the elevator on my floor with the same wariness of the past two days. I haven’t seen Shrek since The Accident on Tuesday night, and I have no idea how to behave around him now.

My strategy is doomed to failure, of course, as no later than tomorrow Lucas will pick up Tegan and drive her to Boston, and there’ll be no avoiding him. But the longer I can put that awkward meeting off, the better.

Careful to walk on tiptoes as to not make any noise with my heels, I cross the landing to my door and unlock it. Still on stealth mode, I move into the office and close the door with the softest click. The sound echoes impossibly loud in my ears.

I’m being paranoid. No way Shrek heard that.