That said, living with builders does mean that life’s never dull. Fetch Me and Carry Me are like a comedy duo and are forever cracking jokes, most of which are too rude to repeat, but I probably don’t have to, as I’m sure everyone in the village can hear them, because they like to yell at each other from one end of the garden to the other. There’s also a constant stream of new faces: Sparky the electrician, Flood the plumber, Beanz the gas man.

As for their interesting – and, in the case of the plumber – rather worrying names, I don’t like to ask. I do, however, draw up some house rules after Fetch Me blocks the toilet for what feels like the millionth time. Well, we are sharing a house and I’ve heard too many horror stories of people falling out with their builders. Hopefully this will stop me falling out with mine:

Builders’ House Rules

1. When listening to the radio, check the volume. Windows rattling are a good gauge that it might be too loud.

2. If singing along to aforementioned radio, please try to be in tune.

3. The crack of dawn is not the best time for the noisiest, messiest jobs.

4. Kindly remember that, after the mix-up with the Portaloo, we are sharing one toilet and the walls are thin. So I would prefer it if you didn’t drink ten pints and eat a curry the night before.

5. PS: Striking matches in the loo does not work.

6. If outside, please don’t clear throat of phlegm, release gas or use expletives before looking over the fence to check if the guests in the holiday cottage next door are relaxing in the garden with a bottle of wine.

7. A handy tip: while getting rid of extra grout down the sink or loo might look like the best option, Dyno-Rod assures me it is not.

8. Please use the sweeping brushes provided and don’t simply pick up the hose and flush everything into the guttering and drains.

9. Teabags: while I appreciate the technical skill involved in building a skyscraper that resembles London’s Walkie Talkie building, I would prefer to have a plughole that water can flow through freely.

Thank you.

But in the end I decide against giving it to them. After all, I’m trying to avoid falling out with them, aren’t I? And the first rule is probably not to give them a list of house rules. So I buy them more biscuits instead.

I look at Ben now, leaning against a half-demolished wall in the bombsite that used to be my kitchen, a mug of tea in one hand and a chocolate digestive in the other. Of all the kitchens in all the world, he had to demolish mine.

‘How was the walk?’

I’ve just come in from walking Harry and am peeling off my waterproof layers. No surprise, it’s raining again. I feel slightly irritated by his presence. The walls of the entrance hallway have been knocked down, so the moment you come through the front door you walk straight into a building site. And Ben, who seems to be constantly on a tea break.