No one else laughs, and I feel looks flying around us. I get a sense of other people in the bar glancing over. Wedged in behind the table, I resist the urge to get up and have a quiet word, make sure everything’s OK. Like I say, it’s none of my business. If Ben wants to go out and get drunk on a Wednesday night, he can. He’s my builder, not my husband. I think about his wife. I wonder if they’ve had a row.

God, this is uncomfortable.

‘Well, you look a bit busy, so I’ll leave you to it.’ Seeming to get the message finally, Ben raises his pint. ‘See you tomorrow, Livvie.’

‘Yeah, see you tomorrow, Ben.’

I feel a beat of relief, and watch as he stumbles away.

‘Someone’s going to have a sore head tomorrow,’ jokes Ajay.

‘Yes, you,’ I snap, feeling unexpectedly protective towards Ben. Ajay looks hurt. And now I feel guilty. ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean it.’ I reach for his hand and he interlaces his fingers through mine, but I still feel unnerved.

‘It can’t be easy for him,’ mutters Valentine. ‘His wife used to work behind the bar, before . . .’ He trails off and doesn’t get any further.

I turn to look at him. ‘Before what?’

Valentine peers at me from underneath those shaggy grey eyebrows of his. ‘Before the car accident.’

‘Oh, I had no idea.’ I glance over at Ben propping up the bar. ‘Is she OK now?’

I turn back to Valentine, but when I see his expression I already know the answer.

‘Ben’s wife died a couple of years ago.’

The Morning After

Ajay stayed the night. Nothing happened, apart from a bit of hand-holding as we walked home together, and some drunken kissing on my doorstep. He barely made it up the stairs before he crashed out on my bed, still fully clothed – the result of drinking several large glasses of house red and a couple of celebratory whiskies for coming third in the quiz.

When I came out of the bathroom, where I’d gone to freshen up and steady my nerves, I found him face down and snoring. After all that build-up I should have been disappointed, but if I’m honest, I felt relieved. Not because I didn’t find him attractive, because who wouldn’t find Ajay attractive? Or because it was such a long time since I’d slept with anyone who wasn’t my husband.

But because of Ben.

Hearing the news about his wife had completely thrown me. I felt shocked, upset and confused. He wore a wedding ring, and I’d assumed the woman I’d met was Stanley’s mum. His wife. But now I didn’t know what to think. On the way back from the pub, when I was supposed to be flirting with Ajay, I was thinking about Ben. Scrolling back through all our conversations, trying to remember what we’d talked about – what he’d said, what I’d said. Looking for clues, but not finding any.