‘I didn’t know you were a classical-music buff.’

‘I’m not. I put it on for Harry.’

As soon as I say it, I know I shouldn’t have. Ben looks at me, his eyes flashing with amusement.

‘Harry listens to classical music?’

‘It helps him relax,’ I say, somewhat defensively.

‘You’ve got to be pulling my leg.’

‘It’s been proven to help calm dogs down, if you have to go out. There are studies, and everything.’

‘Interesting,’ he nods, and I feel a slight victory. ‘So was Harry listening to classical music the night I heard you yelling at your date in the pub then?’

He’s smirking at me.

‘It wasn’t a date,’ I protest, waving my sponge around. ‘Well, not that night, anyway . . . And I wasn’t yelling at him; I was yelling at Harry, trying to calm him down.’

Ben stops what he’s doing, folds his arms and leans back against the countertop, trying to keep a straight face.

‘And yes, he was listening to classical music that night. Chopin actually,’ I add, rather haughtily.

There’s a pause. At which point I stop waving the sponge and burst out laughing. Said out loud, it does all sound rather ridiculous.

Which gives Ben permission to start laughing too. And for a few moments we just stand there in my kitchen, facing each other, both cracking up. I look at him, his dark eyes creased up, his face so familiar. It feels so good to really belly-laugh – the kind that makes your sides ache. And I think how Ben’s the first man I’ve really laughed with since my divorce. Since long before my divorce actually, when I think about it. And then I stop laughing and he does, and there’s a pause when no one speaks, but it feels like there’s a lot going on.

‘You know, we never went for that drink.’ Ben speaks first.

‘No, we never did.’

I can hear everyone outside and I have the sense that we’re about to be interrupted and the moment will be gone, if we don’t grab it.

‘I’m free on Friday,’ I say. ‘In case you’re interested.’

Holding my gaze, he looks almost amused as he answers. ‘Seriously, Livvie, has it taken you this long to know I’m interested?’

Hey you,

So I think I might be in trouble. I’m going out for dinner with Ben. Yes, I know what you’re thinking. I’ve thought it too. But he’s different now. I’m different now. I’m not thirteen years old with a crush on a bad boy who’s going to break my heart.

And yet, I’m scared. Because while things might be different, what happens if the feelings are just the same?

x

A Different Kind of Doorstep Challenge

By the time Friday afternoon rolls around I’ve got butterflies about my evening with Ben. I’ve tried not to over-think it. To live in the moment. Go with the flow. Just have fun.

Oh, who am I kidding? I’ve totally over-thought it.