Will joins me by the Aga; it took me weeks to clean and I’ve had it re-enamelled a bright cherry red. It was the one thing we managed to save from this kitchen and I’m so glad we did, as it’s the heart of the home. He gives me a hug, towering above me. He must have grown another three inches since he went travelling. Either that or I’m shrinking.

As we break apart, he motions to his rucksack. ‘By the way, any chance I could do some laundry?’

I roll my eyes. As a student he was forever coming home from university with bags of dirty washing, and I was forever moaning about it.

‘Lucky for you I just got my new washing machine plumbed in.’

‘Awesome.’

He goes to grab it and I watch as he begins emptying the rucksack’s filthy contents all over the floor. I never thought I’d be so glad to see nothing has changed.

A Helping Hand

After the conversation with Ben in my garden I was apprehensive about seeing Stanley again. Ben’s words weighed heavily upon me and I worried that my emotions might get the better of me. I thought constantly about his mum, Janet, and it brought back painful memories of my own. Alone the next night, I looked out into the garden and saw the light on in Stanley’s attic bedroom and I found myself unexpectedly sobbing, not just for a little boy who had lost his mum, but for two little girls who lost theirs.

Luckily Harry had no such worries and behaved exactly the same, stuffing his nose between the gate and wagging his tail as Stanley ran out to greet us, so I followed his example. When I watched them together, they were acting like nothing had changed because nothing had changed. As soon as I realized that, any awkwardness or concern about saying the wrong thing simply disappeared.

Stanley and Harry have formed an undeniable bond. Stanley knows what time we walk past now and makes sure he’s always there to see Harry. Recently he even added it to his laminated list. ‘Look – “Harry”,’ he pointed proudly, showing the list to me as we stood on one side of the gate, and he on the other. ‘See, now it’s not a coincidence, because it’s on the list.’ For some reason Stanley seemed very pleased about that.

Their friendship isn’t the only one that’s deepened. Neither Ben nor I has mentioned what we talked about that night in my garden, but there’s been a shift in our relationship. You think you know someone, but by both allowing ourselves to be vulnerable, it’s as if I’ve been given an access-all-areas pass. I’ve seen the heartbreak that lurks beneath the cheerful banter and the crushing grief behind a lost temper.

And while most of what we talk about has nothing to do with feelings, and everything to do with plumbing and electrics (including one discussion about the merits of underfloor heating versus cast-iron radiators, which went on for what felt like hours and I nearly lost the will to live), woven into our conversations are other things. More important things.