The women I usually go for are like female versions of me: flirty and confident. Erin was totally unlike me but for some reason her shyness drew me in. And underneath the awkwardness, she was gorgeous, gorgeous in a way that turned me into a panting, pawing animal. I wanted to peel off all those layers of clothing and see those perky breasts for myself. I wanted to grab hold of that tight, heart-shaped ass, lift her off the ground and press her to my chest. I wanted to tilt her head back and look down into those big blue eyes, watching her expression as I slowly slid up into her…

But there was something else, too. She looked so small and lost, standing there in the snow, that I just wanted to pull her tight to my chest and wrap my overcoat protectively around her. And that urge led to another one.

Deep inside, there’s a part of me that doesn’t work anymore. I think of it like cogs that have melted together from brutal, savage heat, so they won’t mesh and turn. They cooled like that, and eventually stayed still so long the whole ruined mess froze. Years later, it’s buried so deep in ice, I’d almost forgotten it ever worked.

But just then, for a second, as I watched Erin’s golden braid bounce against her back in the wind…I wanted to kiss her. Not just my usual kind of kiss, open-mouthed and panting with my hands in her hair. I wanted to kiss her slowly, gently, my lips just brushing hers.

And I felt that frozen metal ache, straining, trying to come back to life. All of the pain that had melted it together, the stuff I keep pushed down deep, rushed up into my mind—

She was looking at me, curious and worried. Shit.

I looked away, shaken. What was that?! I crammed the memories back down into their pit and only then did I turn back to her.

She was turning the laptop over in her hands. “I can fix this,” she muttered. She did that a lot, mumbling or muttering. Like she was worried someone might notice her if she made too much noise.

I stared at the circuit boards poking out through the cracked case, at the spiderwebbed screen. “Really?!”

Her eyes flicked up to look at me and for a second, she looked wounded. She thought I was doubting her. Had people done that in the past, because she was a woman? The thought made a fresh wave of protective anger slam through me.

I shook my head quickly. “I just meant..that’s incredible.”