But let me ask herself, whether she chooses that I should treat her in a serious, solemn, old-fashioned, or in a gentle, complaisant, gallant manner? If she chooses the sour manner and fashion, then must I raise some of the bearded gentlemen from the shades, and not such a smock-faced gentleman as she is fond of; one of those bristle-beards which we see in old images and statues; one who will bang my lady, and speak for me, if she should scold me into silence. Let some such in her own family start up; there is the blind old gentleman, the most proper that can be; for his not being capable to see her, will save him a great deal of grief. Supposing now he was to start up, such would be his behaviour, and such his language: “Woman! what hast thou to do with Caelius? What with a stripling? What with a stranger? Why was you so intimate with him as to lend him money? Or why such a foe as to dread his poison? Hast thou not seen thy father? Hast thou not heard that thy uncle, thy grandfather, thy great grandfather, and his father, were consuls? Art thou insensible that thou wast married to Quintus Metellus, a brave nobleman, and a worthy patriot? Who no sooner left the threshold of his own house, than he rose superior to almost all his countrymen in merit, in glory, and dignity. When thou thyself, of noble descent, wast by him married into an illustrious family, why was Caelius so much thy intimate? Was he thy cousin, thy relation, or the bosom-friend of thy husband? He was none of these. What could be the reason, but lust, hood-winked lust? If thou art unmoved at seeing the manly images of our family, ought not my descendant, ought not the example of that Quinta Clodia, to have invited thee into a competition for the female glory of domestic virtue? Ought not Clodia, too, that vestal virgin, who, embracing her triumphant father, prevented his being torn from his car by a spiteful tribune of the people? Why art thou more affected with the vices of a brother, than with the virtues of a father and a grandfather, which have developed from me upon the females, as well as the males, of my family? Did I divert my country from the thoughts of a peace with Pyrrhus, and shalt thou daily enter into intrigues of obscene amours? Did I bring in the water that supplies this city, that thou mightest use it to thy incestuous purposes? Did I lay a road, that it might serve as a parade for thee and thy train of gallants?”