SOSTRATOS. [Addressing audience] My friends, by all the gods of heaven I swear, I have never in my whole life seen a man so conveniently half-drowned. That episode was a delight! As soon as we got there, Gorgias jumped straight down into the well, and the girl and I did nothing in particular up top. Well, what could we do? Except that she was tearing her hair, crying and pounding away at her breast, and I was standing there like a nanny – I really was, and a fine fool I looked – pleading with her to stop it, worshipping at her shrine and feasting my eyes on a perfect picture. For the victim down below I cared less than nothing, except for trying all the time to haul him up – that did inconvenience me a bit! And I tell you, I very nearly did for him. For as I gazed into the girl’s eyes, I let the rope go, two or three times. But Gorgias was a veritable Atlas: he kept a grip on him and eventually, with considerable difficulty, got him up.

When he was safely out, I came out, and here I am. I couldn’t control myself any longer – I very nearly went up to the girl and kissed her. That’s how madly in love I am. I’m preparing the ground – but the door’s opening. God in heaven, look at that!

[KNEMON is wheeled out on a couch, GORGIAS and the girl with him.]

GORGIAS. Can I do anything for you, sir? You only have to ask.

KNEMON. Oh, I’m in a very bad way.

GORGIAS. Cheer up!

KNEMON. Don’t worry, Knemon will never trouble any of you again, ever.

GORGIAS. Look, this is the kind of thing that happens when you live like a hermit. You came very close to death just now. A man of your age should end his days with someone to look after him.

KNEMON. I know I’m in a bad way, Gorgias. Ask your mother to come, tell her it’s urgent. We only learn from bitter experience, it seems. Little daughter, please help me to sit up.

SOSTRATOS. [Viewing process] Lucky fellow!

KNEMON. [To SOSTRATOS] Why are you hanging about there, you miserable man?

[Several lines are missing here, but it is clear that Gorgias has fetched
Myrrhine, and that Knemon has begun his great speech.]