MNESILOCHUS. It is not wonderful, O women, that you who are so abused should be exceedingly exasperated at Euripides, nor yet that your bile should boil over; for I myself hate that man, if I be not mad,—so may I be blessed in my children! But nevertheless we must grant the privilege of speaking amongst each other; for we are by ourselves, and there is no blabbing of our conversation. Why thus do we accuse him, and are vexed, if, being cognizant of two or three misdeeds of ours, he has said them of us who perpetrate innumerable? For I myself, in the first place,—not to speak of any one else,—am conscious with myself of many shameful acts: at all events of that most shameful one, when I was a bride of three days, and my husband was sleeping beside me. Now I had a friend, who had debauched me when I was seven years of age. He, through love of me, came and began scratching at the door; and then I immediately understood it; and then I was for going down secretly, but my husband asked me, “Whither are you going down?” “Whither?—A colic and pain, husband, possesses me in my stomach; therefore I am going to the necessary.” “Go then!” said he. And then he began pounding juniper berries, anise, and sage. But after I had poured some water on the hinge, I went out to my paramour; and then I conversed with him beside the statue of Apollo, holding by the bay-tree. These, you see, Euripides never yet at any time spoke of. Nor does he mention how we give ourselves up to our slaves and to muleteers, if we have not any other. Nor how, when we junket ever so much during the night, we chew up garlic in the morning, in order that the husband having smelt it when he comes in from the wall, may not suspect us of doing any thing bad. These things, you see, he has never at any time spoken of. And if he does abuse a Phaedra, what is this to us? Neither has he ever mentioned that, how that well-known woman, while showing her husband at day-break how beautiful her upper garment is, sent out her paramour hidden in it—that he has never yet mentioned. And I know another woman, who for ten days said she was in labour, till she purchased a little child; while her husband went about purchasing drugs to procure a quick delivery. But the child an old woman brought in a pot with its mouth stopped with honeycomb, that it might not squall. Then, when she that carried it nodded, the wife immediately cried out, “Go away, husband, go away, for methinks I shall be immediately delivered.” For the child kicked against the bottom of the pot. And he ran off delighted, while she drew out the stoppage from the mouth of the child, and it cried out. And then the abominable old woman who brought the child, runs smiling to the husband, and says, “A lion has been born to you, a lion! your very image, both in all other respects whatever, and its nose is like yours, being crooked like an acorn-cup.” Do we not practise these wicked acts? Yea, by Diana, do we! And then are we angry at Euripides, “who have suffered nothing greater than we have committed?”