A few seconds later I peek again, totally unable to help myself. I’m just in time to see Rose rest her head against Alfie’s shoulder as she listens dotingly to something Alfie’s dad is saying. Alfie says something and they all laugh. I bet he’s so fucking funny. I bet he’s charismatic as hell. I bet Rose is having the best birthday ever.

I tear my eyes away and follow Eleanor and Molly to one of the many food stations, which are all headed by chefs taking custom orders. We find Harriet and Florence hovering by the patisserie station, and I grab a fig Danish and force it down.

It tastes rotten.

Not long after we finish shoveling pastries into our mouths—pastries that, according to Harriet, apparently taste awesome when they’re not seasoned by jealousy—the music cuts off and the crowd bursts into murmurs and whispers as people rush to find a seat. A few Ashford guys I don’t recognize fill up the rest of our table and swivel around to face the stage, which is right by us. The king and queen, along with Rose and Alfie, climb up onto it, and when the crowd finally falls silent, the king speaks.

“Welcome, all of you. Thank you for joining us tonight as we celebrate that joyous day seventeen years ago when our future queen entered this world.”

Rose is searching the crowd with a determined eye. I take a deep breath and steady myself. I’m ready for it when her eyes meet mine. They hold my gaze, but her face stays blank.

Even if I never ended things, I wouldn’t be up there with her. Either way, I’d be down here, watching her from an invisible spot in the crowd. Only, now I get to do it without having her to myself in private, either.

“We are so proud of the humble, intelligent, talented young woman that Rosemary has grown to be. I think I speak for all of us when I say…”

Beside Rose, Alfie listens to the king with a rapturous expression, his hand brushing against Rose’s. Her fingers curl up to touch his palm.

I’ve never wanted to be somewhere else more than I do in this exact moment.

“We wish her all the best for her future endeavors. This girl of mine will continue to surprise all of us.…”

Rose is looking at me again. She catches me in the process of staring at Alfie like he’s a mosquito I want to swat away. Or squash. Keeping her eyes fixed on me she takes Alfie’s hand in hers and squeezes it, pressing her shoulder flush against his. Her mouth doesn’t smile, but her eyes sure do.