I was not, in fact, planning on extending invitations to Molly and Danni; however it feels far too rude not to now. Besides, Molly missed my mother’s birthday, so I highly doubt she’ll attend mine. And Danni will follow suit, I assume.

“Damn right we’re invited,” Florence says, taking a deep drag. “What the hell kind of party would it be without us?”

“A respectable one, probably,” Danni suggests, and I smile before I can stop myself.

Eleanor responds to this by passing her the joint she’s just finished with. If Danni can hardly drink cider, it’s unlikely she’s ever smoked before. My instinct is to intervene and scold Eleanor for putting Danni on the spot like this, but I don’t wish to speak for her, either. For all I know, she wants to participate.

Danni surveys the joint in her fingers nervously, and then her eyes flicker to me. This time, I don’t look away. She takes a deep, steadying breath, raises it to her lips, and inhales so sharply I wince. As I expected, this is immediately followed by a violent coughing fit. Florence and Eleanor burst into fond laughter, but when I catch Danni’s panicked expression I’m on my feet in an instant. I remember the feeling of sucking in ash too well. It’s as though you might never get air in again.

“Here,” I say, passing her cider can to her. “Drink something.”

Molly pats her on the back, glaring at Eleanor and Florence, as Danni gratefully takes the can from me and swigs.

“That is fucking terrible,” she manages before dissolving into another coughing fit.

“You sucked too hard,” I explain, returning to my seat. “You want to go slow and steady.”

“Oh.” She meets my eyes once more, and there’s something I don’t like about it at all. It makes me want to wrap my arms around her. I want to be the one rubbing her back. I want to kiss the ash from her lips.

It feels disturbingly like longing.

I much preferred it when I avoided her orbit.

Danni’s gaze trails around the group, and she flushes. I think of her nervousness around the spotlight, and her fear of being laughed at. It just won’t do for her to feel uncertain like this around her own friends. “You want to try again?” I ask. Perhaps if she has the chance to redeem herself—and if I can effectively warn Florence and Eleanor with my eyes to stop laughing—the sudden self-consciousness will leave her posture. I don’t like her looking like this.

Danni nods, and I take Harriet’s joint from her and lift it to demonstrate. Danni matches my actions and, as one, our lips part, and we breathe in gently, steadily.

“Perfect,” I murmur. “I’m proud of you.”