I’m not allowed to read into this. I promised myself. She said guy, specifically, which means this isn’t going anywhere. Why is my heart racing like this? Stop racing.

I close my eyes and will myself to breathe. “How do you know?”

She takes ages to reply. Long enough that I think she’s decided not to. Long enough that, when her voice finally cuts through the heavy silence, I’m surprised to hear it.

“I started to say it, but then I panicked, and I lied. And now I’m going to tell the truth, and if you hate the truth, can we please pretend I kept lying?”

I don’t reply, because I can’t possibly get a single word out right now. I’m not sure I even remember how to speak at all.

“I know they saw the photos, because they congratulated me on them about ten minutes ago.”

I try to keep breathing, but everything stops, and all I can do is let my mouth fall open while my insides cave in and my whole world implodes. It’s not possible she said what she just said. I misheard it. I’m misinterpreting it. Somehow. I can’t think how, but I must be. Any second now she’s going to continue, and it’s going to be clear I was imagining things, like I always am.

But for the life of me, I can’t think of any other way she could have meant it.

So, I let my heart race. I manage to suck in a lungful of frozen air, and I let my mind fog, and I let my head turn to finally look at her. And she’s looking right back at me.

A part of me wants to take a step back still. A hard lump clogs my throat. I fully expect her to laugh, or worse, ask me what I’m looking at.

But she doesn’t. She just watches me through dimly lit, green eyes. Her forehead creases, and I realize I need to say something. Anything. Because if she really just said what I think she just said, then …

“I said it was awesome,” I murmur. “You and Alfie. But I meant it was the worst thing I’d ever seen.”

Rose steps in front of me, grabbing my head between two hands and, when I respond by tipping my chin up and parting my lips, she pulls me roughly in to kiss her.

As our lips meet, she makes a small, strangled sound. Something like surprise and relief all in one. And wanting. Her fingers trail down my cheeks to rest at my neck, and her chest meets mine. And in the darkness, under the cover of the woods, I press my body flush against hers and kiss her with a desperation I didn’t know I could feel.