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Back Never Look Back Save as PDF
Chapters (51)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. One
  4. Two
  5. Three
  6. Four
  7. Five
  8. Six
  9. Seven
  10. Eight
  11. Nine
  12. Ten
  13. Eleven
  14. Twelve
  15. Thirteen
  16. Fourteen
  17. Fifteen
  18. Sixteen
  19. Seventeen
  20. Eighteen
  21. Nineteen
  22. Twenty
  23. Twenty-One
  24. Twenty-Two
  25. Twenty-Three
  26. Twenty-Four
  27. Twenty-Five
  28. Twenty-Six
  29. Twenty-Seven
  30. Twenty-Eight
  31. Twenty-Nine
  32. Thirty
  33. Thirty-One
  34. Thirty-Two
  35. Thirty-Three
  36. Thirty-Four
  37. Thirty-Five
  38. Thirty-Six
  39. Thirty-Seven
  40. Thirty-Eight
  41. Thirty-Nine
  42. Forty
  43. Forty-One
  44. Forty-Two
  45. Forty-Three
  46. Acknowledgments
  47. P.S. Insights, Interviews & More . . .*
  48. About the Author
  49. About the Book
  50. Also by Alison Gaylin
  51. About the Publisher

“We worked very hard, ma’am,” he said. “There’s no easy way to put this.”

“No,” she whispered. Or thought. She wasn’t sure. No, please, no.

She didn’t want the doctor to speak. But the words kept coming. “Ms. Diamond,” he said, and then, “your father.” And then, “I’m so sorry.” And then, “entrance wound” and “blood loss” and “vascular structure,” each word as pointless as a scribble on a piece of paper, as pointless as Eric’s hollow gasp and his arm across Robin’s shoulder, as all the prayers she’d said, all the pleading to a God she was never sure she believed in. Each word he said as pointless as life.

Nine

June 12, 1976

7:00 A.M.

Dear Aurora Grace,

For the past two nights, we’ve stayed at a Motel 6 in West Covina. I haven’t left the room, and neither has Gabriel. A couple of times he’s sent out for Shakey’s pizza and paid out of Papa Pete’s wallet. When the delivery guy shows up, he makes me hide in the bathroom, just like he made me hide in the car when he checked in to the motel. Gabriel doesn’t like anyone looking at me besides him. He says it’s a safety thing—witnesses would remember a young couple more than a single guy on his own. But I don’t think that’s the real reason.

There’s nothing to do here and I’m bored. I’ve asked if we can go out and buy magazines, but Gabriel doesn’t think that’s safe either. He thinks the cops are after us, and actually, as far as that goes, he may be right. Papa Pete’s murder was on the news last night. And even though nobody said anything about Gabriel and me, someone did see a car with two people in it pulling out of the driveway. And the news reporter said the witness gave a description to the cops. The newscaster had also said that both of Peter Cooper’s stepdaughters were missing. “It’s only a matter of time,” Gabriel kept saying. “We have to get out of here. It’s only a matter of time.” He hasn’t turned on the TV since.

It’s driving me nuts, the quiet. I’ve tried reading Once Is Not Enough again, but I guess I don’t like the book so much anymore. January’s life is 99 percent miserable, and as much as her dad may love her, he can’t protect her from any of it.

The only other book in this room is the Bible in the nightstand drawer, so I’ve been reading that, just to look at something that isn’t Gabriel’s face.