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Back Never Look Back Save as PDF
Chapters (51)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. One
  4. Two
  5. Three
  6. Four
  7. Five
  8. Six
  9. Seven
  10. Eight
  11. Nine
  12. Ten
  13. Eleven
  14. Twelve
  15. Thirteen
  16. Fourteen
  17. Fifteen
  18. Sixteen
  19. Seventeen
  20. Eighteen
  21. Nineteen
  22. Twenty
  23. Twenty-One
  24. Twenty-Two
  25. Twenty-Three
  26. Twenty-Four
  27. Twenty-Five
  28. Twenty-Six
  29. Twenty-Seven
  30. Twenty-Eight
  31. Twenty-Nine
  32. Thirty
  33. Thirty-One
  34. Thirty-Two
  35. Thirty-Three
  36. Thirty-Four
  37. Thirty-Five
  38. Thirty-Six
  39. Thirty-Seven
  40. Thirty-Eight
  41. Thirty-Nine
  42. Forty
  43. Forty-One
  44. Forty-Two
  45. Forty-Three
  46. Acknowledgments
  47. P.S. Insights, Interviews & More . . .*
  48. About the Author
  49. About the Book
  50. Also by Alison Gaylin
  51. About the Publisher

Bill and Mary believe Jenny and I ran off from the Gideon compound because I took Elizabeth’s name. And since they think the Gideons were a bunch of weirdo cult members, they’re taking care of us, feeding us, sending us to school. They’ve even helped us to change our names. Mine will be Renee, which means reborn in French. Jenny’s will be Nicola, after her favorite doll. There’s lots of good food in this house. And Mary lets me have my favorite whenever I want—cinnamon raisin toast, cream cheese, and strawberry jam. My mom used to make it for me. It reminds me of her.

Here’s the thing, though, Aurora Grace. I’m not going to be able to stay here for very long. I’m trying to tell Jenny that she’ll be fine without me. Better off without me, probably, if anyone ever finds out who I really am.

I’ve told one boy who I am, but I’m never going to see him again. And I think he’ll keep my secret. He is sweet and kind and funny and gentle. And he is, after all, your father.

Aurora Grace, you have decided to show up in my life a lot sooner than I thought you would. So here is my plan: Buy a bus ticket to Tucson. Lie about my age. Get a job at the university and do it fast—before I start showing! Use my new name. Make new friends. Start a new life as a new girl. A new woman. I’ve been thinking about going to night school at the university. I’d like to study to be a psychiatrist, but that could always change.

I leave later this morning, my growing daughter. Are you ready for our future? I know I am.

Love,

Mom

Acknowledgments

My gratitude as ever, to my wonderful agent Deborah Schneider, as well as to the brilliant Lyssa Keusch, Mireya Chiriboga, Maureen Cole, and everyone at William Morrow, the amazing Francesca Pathak and everyone at Orion, and also Alice Lutyens at Curtis Brown, who is truly the best.

Thanks also to James “My Main” Conrad, Jackie Kellachan, and my favorite bookstore, The Golden Notebook. I couldn’t write these things without the support of friends and family, including (but not limited to) James (again) and Chas Cerulli, Paul Leone (who answered many vital questions), Wendy Corsi Staub, the everlastingly never-ever-all-uncool FLs, Sheldon and Marilyn Gaylin, Ronald LeBov, my terrific mom, Beverly LeBov Sloane, and of course Mike and Marissa, without whom . . . Well let’s just say I’m #blessed.

P.S. Insights, Interviews & More . . .*

About the Author

Meet Alison Gaylin

About the Book

Note from the Author

Five True Crime Podcasts That Will Keep You Up All Night

Reading Group Guide

About the Author

Meet Alison Gaylin