“She’s your best friend. You love her.”

It annoyed her, as always, that things were so simple for him to express. Yes, of course you have to have an awkward confrontation with your best friend. No, you can’t just ghost and drive off into the night and then apologize later. Once when they were fighting, he had told her it was exhausting that she could be so good to people who would never truly know her and be so willing to disappear on the people who loved her. The unspoken sentence after he’d said that to her was: it was like she had learned nothing from her sister’s death. And then he had immediately apologized and said that wasn’t fair for him to say. He hadn’t even said the hard part aloud. The apology, somehow, had been the thing to truly enrage her. She had uttered an embarrassing little screech and walked out of the apartment, then out into the night. And now, in this hotel room, a part of her was waiting again for Felix to point to something too true about her.

When she said nothing, he said, “You’ll feel better if you do this right.”

A part of her relaxed.

“I hate the art in here,” Ayanna said. “Why do they think ducks are restful?”

“Better than geese,” Felix said. “Nature’s true evil.”

Then he crossed his arms and looked her in the eyes. The hotel room was dim enough that there was no way for her to see the difference between his pupils and irises. She met his gaze but could not tell what he was thinking. Before he could speak there was a knock, much louder, and Ayanna knew it was Jane. Felix turned and opened the door, let in Jane and Stephen. She was barefoot and carrying her shoes. Stephen seemed a little buzzed.

“You can’t do this,” Jane said. And she turned to Felix. “How could you let her do this?”

“Feminism in action,” Stephen said. “You’re being very get-this-ho-in-line.”

Jane turned toward him and gestured with the hand holding the heels, nearly grazing him with the shoes’ toe boxes. “Excuse me?”

“Sorry,” Stephen said. “We did ‘Dad’s dead’ shots.”

He flopped onto the couch. Stephen spread out and dangled his feet over the edge. His shoes were beautiful. Black leather, embossed florals shining under the unflattering hotel room overhead lights.

“What is the point of going there?” Jane said. “Are you going to go through the door? You won’t find her.”

Ayanna said nothing.

“I thought everything was fine with you.”