They walked again in silence, Ayanna watching how the other girl still moved a little clumsily and wondering if she should offer her an arm. Ayanna couldn’t believe the hospital had let them leave. They were both so tired that neither had considered calling for a ride.

“You saved my life,” Lisa said.

“No,” Ayanna said. “Not really.”

“You didn’t have to help me.”

“I did,” Ayanna said, and was surprised by it. She repeated herself before Lisa could say anything again. “I did.”

She stopped walking, took off her backpack, and pulled out the pills she had bought. Held them in her hands while walking down the street and threw them into the nearest trash can. Lisa didn’t seem to notice.

“I’m just glad you’re okay,” Ayanna said.

Back at the dorms, they realized Lisa had somehow lost her swipe card that would let her in and back into her room. They knocked for a while at Lisa’s door, but her roommate didn’t answer. The RA on duty was nowhere to be found. Ayanna took Lisa to her dorm room. Handed her a towel, some pajamas that were far too big for her, and walked her down to the showers. When Lisa had taken off the costume, Ayanna held it gingerly between her hands, and walked it out to the dumpster behind the dorm and stuffed it in. Her body was so tired, she felt like she could feel her skull vibrating. Then she went back upstairs, cracked the window open a little, pulled out her yoga mat and extra pillow, and made herself a bed on the floor. There wasn’t any food, just some mints rattling in their steel container, and she ate them slowly, one at a time, trying to savor them.

When Lisa came back, they argued briefly about who got the bed. Ayanna won and settled down onto the yoga mat. She listened briefly while Lisa cried herself to sleep, felt certain that if she tried to comfort her it would be the absolutely wrong thing to do—sometimes people needed to cry after terrible experiences and let it out—and put her head down on the pillow.