‘Sure, sure. But this weird thing happened. We park up at the hospital, round the back where the ambulances go. And the back doors are open and I’m just sitting there like a jacket spud with a sheet of fucking Bacofoil wrapped round me. And I’m on my own for a few minutes cos the paramedics are booking me in or having a fag or whatever. I’m just sat there and there’s this noise. I look out the back and there’s a cat taking a stroll round the yard; she’s all ginger and stripy, like one of those iced biscuits. So I call this cat over and she’s rolling around at the back of the ambulance, and I sit on the ledge and I’m stroking this little thing. She’s bloody loving it, meowing and purring and nuzzling up against me. Eventually, she lets me pick her up and she’s all warm and soft and I’m stroking her as she stamps her little paws on my lap. And then I have this weird thought.’

‘Go on.’

‘I start thinking to myself, I don’t want this to be the last time I ever stroke a cat. How stupid is that?’

‘Not stupid.’

Alfie swatted away a tear like it was a fly. ‘And I’m thinking, if I want to be able to play with a cat again, then I must not want to die. Not really. You know?’

‘Totally.’

‘So they come and get me to take me into the hospital, and I’m giving this cat a hug and its fur’s kinda gone spiky cos I’ve been crying a bit. And they take me in and they do this psychiatric assessment. The thing they keep asking is, “Do you think you’ll try again, Alfie?” And you know what, Parks? I told them the truth. I told them, yes, I will try again, because nothing’s changed. Send me home, I’ll try again. But I don’t want to die, I say. And I begged them to keep me in hospital, cos I knew it was the only way.’

‘I’m so pleased to hear it, mate.’

‘And that’s what I mean, Parks. I don’t actually have to be here. I’m here cos I want to live. I’m fucking desperate to live.’

Seeing each other cry felt oddly freeing, although neither said so.

‘I love you,’ Will told him as he wept. A life without Alfie was unimaginable to him.

‘I fucking love you too,’ Alfie said, barely able to get the words out.

It was some minutes before they were able to speak again. ‘Are you getting on OK there?’ Will eventually asked.

‘Working through stuff. They’re helping me get my shit in order. Gonna repeat the year at school, I’ve decided. One less thing to stress on.’

‘Great idea.’

‘Not gonna miss your old mate, cuz?’