Time passes. Hours perhaps. Possibly days. Maybe a few seconds. Those bedazzling colours that had taken over Will’s vision start to fade. The soothing voices are hushed. His mind begins to shrink once again, the philosophical questions silenced, their potential answers forgotten. Instead, he sees a dull light. Cool bluey-grey. Daylight. Evening in the early autumn, to be precise.

Will is way up high now. He has a Google Earth perspective over a town on the coast.

But, slowly, he’s descending.

The sun is beginning to set. Like fire and smoke.

A line of cars queue below him at a level crossing. There’s a small Fiat. With a huge stereo.

And Will knows. It’s Danny. And April. And him. That night when it all began.

He’s about to join them.

Do I get another chance? Will thinks. Do I get another go at this? A chance to follow my old self again? To get messages across when I can?

Is this another chance? To not just save everybody, but save myself too?

Please. Please let it be so.

He’s almost with them now. Not that they can see him, of course.

His mind starts to empty, everything being filed away, far out of his reach.

By the time he’s inside the car, it’s gone. He has no idea who he is or what he’s doing, only a nagging sense of purpose.

He’s here for a reason. That’s all he knows right now.

The Beginning

Will Parks is no longer alone.

This is the precise instant it begins. He is being watched. Followed. Everywhere.

Acknowledgements

Thank you first and foremost to Ben Horslen, whose editorial genius has made this book so much more than I imagined it could be.

Continued thanks to Harry Illingworth – agent, guru, dispenser of kind words when they are most needed.

Thanks to the terrific team at Penguin, especially Jennie Roman, Stephanie Barrett and Alice Todd.

Thank you to Mehreen Akhtar, who brought insight and wisdom to the sensitivity read.

I’m eternally indebted to the many family and friends who support my writing endeavours, especially my brothers Will and Sam, and Daniel Ross.

And, most of all, thank you to my wife Vikki – my first reader, my greatest supporter, my reason.

Resources

If you or someone you love is suffering from abuse or struggling with poor mental health, help is available.

Mental Health

Leading movement against male suicide. Their 365-day helpline for men over fifteen years old is open 5 p.m. to midnight.

An award-winning app based on the principles of dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT). It provides tasks to help young people cope with the urges to self-harm and has been recommended by the NHS.

Aims to empower anyone experiencing a mental health problem by providing advice and support, to make sure no one must face a mental health problem alone.