Back Loudermilk
Chapters (60)
  1. Cover
  2. Title Page
  3. Personae
  4. I: Early Days
  5. One. Control
  6. Two. Doubt
  7. Three. Fate
  8. Four. Same
  9. Five. Fine Arts
  10. Six. In Loco Parentis
  11. Seven. Settling
  12. Eight. Neighbors
  13. Nine. Prospects
  14. Ten. The Lucky
  15. Eleven. Instruction
  16. Twelve. Same
  17. Thirteen. This Is a Pipe
  18. Fourteen. This Is Not a Pipe
  19. Fifteen. The Reason
  20. Sixteen. That Person
  21. Seventeen. Predictably
  22. II: Writing Teacher
  23. Eighteen. Early Poems
  24. Nineteen. Motivation
  25. Twenty. Allegory
  26. Twenty-One. Grief
  27. Twenty-Two. A Portrait
  28. Twenty-Three. Veils
  29. Twenty-Four. Soft Power
  30. Twenty-Five. Lists
  31. Twenty-Six. A Break
  32. Twenty-Seven. Elsewhere
  33. Twenty-Eight. Custom
  34. Twenty-Nine. Parity
  35. Thirty. Fortune
  36. III: Volta
  37. Thirty-One. Images
  38. Thirty-Two. A Very Interesting Young Man
  39. Thirty-Three. Letters
  40. Thirty-Four. We Prefer to See Ourselves Living
  41. Thirty-Five. Love
  42. Thirty-Six. The Iceberg
  43. IV: Your Best Reader
  44. Thirty-Seven. A Novelist
  45. Thirty-Eight. In Advance of the Broken Arm
  46. Thirty-Nine. Their Penultimate Encounter
  47. Forty. Détente
  48. Forty-One. Worlds
  49. Forty-Two. Recognition
  50. Forty-Three. Persistence
  51. Forty-Four. And Then
  52. Forty-Five. Mingling
  53. Forty-Six. You
  54. Forty-Seven. Persona
  55. Forty-Eight. Est et Non
  56. Forty-Nine. The Author
  57. Epilogue
  58. Afterword: The Libertine
  59. Acknowledgments
  60. About the Authors

The ground bobbed, and the sky was white. When Richard reached mid-station, rain began to fall. Whatever Wallace was doing to the motor, it was not making things run more smoothly. Over the birch trees, on the trail to the left of the trail below his feet, Richard espied the yellow body of the old school bus they had dragged out of the woods for the kids who rode snowboards. In the winter he had seen them sitting on the roof, boys and girls, some asleep and some eating and laughing. And then there were laurels under his legs. He thought he was breathing a lake. Water fell from the sky, and it fell from the crossbar over his head, and it fell from the cables that were slinging his chair up the mountain. The laurel covered the steepest place, where there was no trail, and Richard seemed to be face-to-face with the hillside. And he could see the top, with a cabin and a metal house, partner to the one at the base where Wallace was changing things. Then the lift stopped.

Richard sat in the rain. He was trying to imagine what he would say to Eloise when he got to the top. He could not say why he had left his house, or why he had gotten on the chairlift. The black jacket the man had given him was cutting off his circulation at the wrists. His glasses had fogged up. He swung and wondered, Does Eloise know that once I saw her give a kiss under our deck light? Then the cables gasped, and the chair started again.

Eloise was outside the cabin. She had on her instructor’s coat, which was dark purple, nearly black with rain, and came down to her knees. You bought these coats from the owners of the resort if they offered you a job as an instructor. He had paid for two of them: two hundred and fifty dollars each. And Eloise did have short dark hair. She looked strange, her face not more complete now than it had been when he was trying to picture her. “Hey, Dr. Lehren.”

She sounds good to him. “Hello, Eloise.” He gets off the chairlift awkwardly, taking too many steps. He comes obediently to a stop in front of her and wipes the water from his face, pulling it down and shaking it off his hand in one motion. “Well, I’m here.”

She doesn’t smile at him. She tells him, “I’d like to talk for a second if that’s OK.”

“I’ve come all the way up the mountain, Eloise. Let’s talk.”

She looks past his shoulder, then back at him. “OK. Come with me.” But she doesn’t take him into the cabin. She walks back toward the thin woods where the two trails begin. “Someone’s in there.” She nods at the cabin. Water rolls down her nose and over her mouth.

“Oh,” he says.