everyone cheered gian and i watched him walk out of the coliseum with his arms up in the air. he was walking towards me. he was wearing sunglasses. HERE IS THE THING:

as he’s walking out, an announcement comes onscreen. the announcement was funded by will smith’s family. it showed family video images of will smith’s kids, will smith as a kid, his entire family as children, and there was a voiceover that said something to the extent of ‘while gian’s speech was great, we have come to an agreement that he did not include children enough. we want to say these things about children to our graduates: watch three minutes of any ‘twilight’ movie every day, if you can’t read ‘JIF’ on your peanut butter you need a new blender’ [everyone laughs], [several things i don’t remember].’

hugged gian and said ‘that was the best thing ever, i can’t believe you did that and you aren’t like, people aren’t mobbing you right now.’ he said ‘they’re not mobbing me because of the will smith thing.’ he was also my best friend from high school, katie, like morphing into her sometimes. he asked what i did today and i said while simultaneously recalling this in my memory, like, actually unaware of what i was saying/what i had done that day until i had said it out loud. there is some name for this thing i’m talking about, they do it in movies, i’m doing it to an extent with you right now…maybe there isn’t a name for it, i forget. here is what i told gian i did that day: ‘i was running, then i started to run faster, then [image of me transforming into a ‘fleet’ of like 16 cats spinning over and over each other, extremely fast, like a wheel, going faster than traffic and in the opposite direction of traffic].’ i said ‘this was all on the way here. i thought i was really going to make it, to graduation, on time. then [image of me as the spinning cat-wheel frozen in front of a person on a bike in a lane of traffic between cars, then me dodging out of the way ‘matrix’-style slow motion]. then [image of me getting hit by a bus, also like, really feeling that i was dying as this image played. looked for ‘ruins of me’ under the tires. driver’s side door opened. saw my hand open it from the inside with ‘comic timing.’ i emerged from the driver’s side door without any legs. i was just a floating torso and head and arms, floating at my normal height. i waved and smirked like ‘that’s all folks’].’ gian said ‘whoa, that’s some real shit’ and looked affected. i said ‘yeah so that’s why i was late.’ there was something else about people from the internet and sex. i said something in my liveblog, in the dream, about someone from the internet who i want to have sex with, then deleting it really fast in the dream. woke after hitting snooze for around two hours.